Criminal Minds on CBS at 9:00pm ET. 11th season winter premiere.
Duck Dynasty on A&E at 9:00pm ET. Ninth season premiere. Between the dudes on this show and those Mast Bros chocolate guys, I’m going to forever be suspicious of men with lush, full beards trying to sell me things.
Second Chance on Fox at 9:01pm ET. Series premiere. This is Fox’s new sci-fi ish season that seems more than a bit like the doomed Forever starring Ioan Gruffudd. In this case, a man who died in his old age is brought back to life as a 35 year old, whereas Gruffudd played a seemingly immortal man who seemed destined to be 35 forever. This follows Fox’s other “sort of but not quite” reboot of Almost Human to Minority Report. Someone at Fox just doesn’t want to give up on dead shows. You could even say he’s giving them… a second chance. Oh! This also features another character with “cancer” that will “kill her” within “a year.” Silly TV writers, we know better than that!
American Horror Story: Hotel on FX at 10:00pm ET. Fifth season finale. Listen, Gaga, I’m happy for you and all but I’ll never not be mad that you won the Golden Globe over Kristen Dunst in Fargo. PEGGY FOREVER.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on FXX at 10:00pm ET.