Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D on ABC at 8:00pm ET. Series premiere. Hey! Look, it’s this! Joss Whedon fans rejoice! Agent Coulson fans rejoice! Wheeee! Fun for everyone who doesn’t occasionally find Whedon’s work to be a bit too cutesy for their tastes over time! I mean, yay! Captain Mal! Buffyverse! Timey-wimey! Wait, wrong one. Whatever, let’s all put on our Jayne hats, turn on the TV and feel the deep sense comfort that comes with knowing we’re tapped into the hive mind, shall we?
NCIS on CBS at 8:00pm ET. 11th season premiere.
Knife Fight on Esquire at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. The Style Network is no more, it has been replaced by Esquire TV, serving the discerning man who appreciates fine dining, men’s fashion, craft alcohol, and a whole lot of reruns of Burn Notice. I don’t think you have to be a man to enjoy those things, but I guess the good people at Esquire TV know better than I do.
Trophy Wife on ABC at 9:30pm ET. Starring Malin Ackerman and Bradley Whitford, created by the star of the “Target: Women” web-series, Sarah Haskins. Otherwise funny people don’t always create funny television series, but I’m willing to give this one a shot, just because her skewering of yogurt ads was a thing of brilliance.
Sons of Anarchy on FX at 10:00pm ET.
Genevieve Burgess has a permanently stunted sense of whimsy. It’s tragic, really. Also, start taking bets on how long she puts up with styling “S.H.I.E.L.D” that way.