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5 Shows After Dark: Just the Scale of the Thing is Shocking.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 15, 2012 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 15, 2012 |

“Oh Sit!” on The CW at 8:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is a new competitive obstacle course reality series based loosely on the concept of musical chairs. I know the big joke around here is what movie they’re going to make based on a board game next, but this new wrinkle certainly adds a world of horrible possibilities. I’d make a joke here about the game of “Life” becoming a reality series but I’m pretty sure that you can throw together several existing reality shows to approximate the possibilities that game offered. “House Hunters” would be the people who drew the awesome cards, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” would be the ones who drew the shitty ones.

“So You Think You Can Dance” on Fox at 8:00pm ET.

“Shark Fight” on Discovery at 9:00pm ET.

“American Hoggers” on A&E at 10:00pm ET. Second season premiere. Oh, this came back for some reason.

“The Franchise” on showtime at 10:00pm ET. People still watch shows about baseball? And this is centered around the Miami Marlins, and every time I think about the team I think about this thing they put in their new stadium for god only knows what reason. I suppose that it’s supposed to encourage players to hit home runs but it’s so disruptive and insane I can only imagine that it’s doing the exact opposite of that.

Genevieve Burgess is clinging desperately to the life raft that is “Shark Week” until the final summer television doldrums drive her mad.

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.

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