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5 Shows After Dark: I Refuse To Believe This is a Real Person

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 1, 2013 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 1, 2013 |

“The 2013 Young Hollywood Awards” on The CW at 8:00pm ET. You know, I keep up with pop culture. I run my eyes over the Billboard Hot 100 every week, I look at the TV listings five nights out of the week, and have a pretty good handle on upcoming movie releases. I’m not necessarily saying this to boast, but to point out that I swear to god some of these networks must be breeding skinny, artificially tan young people in a lab to manage to stump me this frequently with various honorees and “stars” that appear on things like this. Luckily, it’s hosted by the lovely Aisha Tyler so at least we can all manage a glimmer of recognition there. Of course, most of the target audience won’t know who she is, so we’re back to square one.

“Burn Notice” on USA at 9:00pm ET.

“Project Runway” on Lifetime at 9:00pm ET.

“Hatfields & McCoys: White Lightening” on History at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. Rather than a series based on the story of the family feud that became Appalachian Shakespeare, this is a reality series centered around the modern day Hatfields and McCoys who have been convinced to go into the moonshine business together by an investor from St.Louis with “mysterious” motives. Tempers flare, people get pissed off about shit that happened over a century ago, and it’s all probably a big commercial for the HATFIELD & MCCOY brand moonshine they’re allegedly making according to family recipes that go back generations. At least this has some tenuous connection to historical events, unlike the vast majority of the History Channel programming these days.

“Children’s Hospital” on Adult Swim at 12:00am ET.

Genevieve Burgess was also pretty stumped by half the “teen stars” when she was an actual teenager.

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.

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