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5 Shows After Dark: That Jacket, Though, is Pure Genius.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 17, 2013 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 17, 2013 |

“Big Brother” on CBS at 8:00pm ET.

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” on TLC at 9:00pm ET. Second season premiere.

“The Bridge” on FX at 10:00pm ET. I felt like there were some pacing problems with the first episode, in that we got a lot of information on some characters and not quite enough on others, but I’m sticking with it for now. If only because watching Diane Kruger make men uncomfortable because of her lack of social skills rather than her dazzling beauty is something of a novelty.

“Wedding Island” on TLC at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is a new reality series focusing on a wedding planning business on the Caribbean island of Vieques. I have to tell you, as a 26 year old woman with no immediate plans of marriage (or even a steady relationship) these shows are probably the best way to keep anyone from wanting to get married. If people are really that opposed to gay marriage, they should just get a bunch of these shows, chop off the last few minutes where everything comes together beautifully, and find a channel to run them 24/7. NO ONE will want to get married after two hours of that mess.

“Deal With It” on TBS at 10:30pm ET. Series premiere. New series where people are dared to prank their companions blah blah instructions through ear piece blah bleargh is the American public still in middle school? I am genuinely confused as to why anyone over 23 is still interested in ‘pranking’ people, with the help of a TV show or not.

Genevieve Burgess may have had some wine before writing this.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.