5 Shows After Dark: Shipping Yards Are Always Bad News
“So You Think You Can Dance” on Fox at 8:00pm ET.
“Dancing With the Stars” on ABC at 9:00pm ET. Two hour 15th season finale. Jesus, 15 seasons? These shows are like the hot-pockets of television, aren’t they?
“Man Eating Super Squid” on Animal Planet at 9:00pm ET. Special presentation. I’m betting this is an attention grabbing headline without anything of substance behind it. Or rather, I hope it is, because if squids have started eating people that means octopuses aren’t far behind them and while I’m a dyed in the wool follower of Godtopus, I am also smart enough to realize that octopuses are kind of terrifying when you get right down to it. The only thing that makes them less terrifying is that they taste delicious when deep fried with some garlic but if they figure out that we do too, we’re all doomed.
“Grimm” on NBC at 10:01pm ET. Second season finale. Now there’ll be basically nothing but reality shows on Tuesday nights. Yay, summer!
“Inside Amy Schumer” on Comedy Central at 10:30pm ET.
Genevieve Burgess jokes to stave off her terror at the news coming out of the midwest. Be safe, readers.