5 Shows After Dark
“Suburgatory” at 8:30pm ET.
“America’s Next Top Model” on The CW at 9:00pm ET.
“American Horror Story” on FX at 10:00pm ET. Part two of the Halloween episode, hopefully with more deliciously bitchy Zachary Quinto.
“Top Chef” on Bravo at 10:00pm ET. Ninth season premiere. They’re in Texas and I’d make a joke about how fast someone would make a “everything’s bigger in Texas” joke except the episode is called “Everything’s Bigger in Texas” so they’ve ruined my joke. Frankly, as best I can tell, the only thing actually bigger in Texas is the number of people who insist that everything is bigger in Texas. And that doesn’t even count as a proper use of the word “bigger” but with Texas’s education system, they’ll never know that. (Kidding, since I know there are angry and well-educated Texans who are already crafting a scathing retort.)
“Whitechapel” on BBCA at 10:00pm ET.
Please remember to check your local listings for all times and channels.