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5 Shows After Dark: She's Like the Usain Bolt of Teased Hair

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | November 1, 2012 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | November 1, 2012 |

“The 46th Annual CMA Awards” on ABC at 8:00pm ET. Or as I like to call them, the Aquanet Olympics.

“The Vampire Diaries” on The CW at 8:00pm ET. There’s some vampire counter-programming going on with MTV doing a special on the second Breaking Dawn movie at exactly the same time as this. Oh no! Which set of brooding vampires who for some reason become obsessed with human teenagers for reasons beyond “dinner” will you choose!

“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on FX at 10:00pm ET.

“Jersey Shore” on MTV at 10:00pm ET. A lot of people are taking umbrage at some very deluded individuals who believe that Superstorm Sandy was proof of God’s wrath against gays. We all know they’re wrong. Clearly, God was aiming to wipe “Jersey Shore” off the face of the earth and forgot his quotation marks. I mean, a little too late as this is the last season, but you can’t expect a deity that exists outside space and time as we understand it to be able to read a television schedule properly. It’d be like us trying to understand what rodents were saying to each other. We know they piss us off, but we’re not really on the level of knowing what their plans are for the weekend.

“The League” on FX at 10:30pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess hopes everyone had a nice Halloween and will be getting back to a standard sign off next week.

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.

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