With the Oscars being mere days away, it’s time to start your preparations. Now, I’ve never won an Oscar ballot contest in my life. And frankly I couldn’t care less. No, I choose to focus my attentions elsewhere. Specifically, on puns.
So continuing with a Pajiba tradition, here they are, your official Oscar picks, based not at all on actual merit or likelihood of winning, but entirely on their food- based punibility. Which, I think we can all agree, is the more important criterion.
I’ve clearly only scratched the first layer of the dip here. Add your picks below, my fellow pun McConaugh-sseurs.
Winner: Dallas Pie-ers Club
Honorable Mentions: Gravitinis, Philly-mena Cheesesteaks (made with aged cheese, in honor of the great Dame)
Best Supporting Actor
Winner: Bradley Coop-cakes
Honorable Mentions: Peppermint Barkhad Abdilicious
Best Supporting Actress
Winner: Cake Blanchett (That’s French for small white cake, obviously)
Honorable Mentions: Meryl Peeps
Winner: June Squab
Honorable Mentions: Lu-pino Noirong’o
Winner: Charleston Chewetel Ejiofors
Honorable Mentions: Christian Pale Ale
Winner: David O Russet potatoes (served O.Gratin, if you want to go all out)
Honorable Mentions: Steve McQuinoa salad
And don’t forget your Melon DeGeneres. Every good host serves a fruit plate.
Vivian Kane will most definitely be spending Sunday making up an Oscars drinking game. Come play along here.