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Marco Rubio Might Be Liberals' Newest Ally, And Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | January 13, 2017 |

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | January 13, 2017 |

So here’s the funny version of an event that thoroughly flipped my world upside down on Wednesday.

Thank you, Colbert, for that brief moment of levity. Now let’s get to the real issue that’s weirdly comforting and unsettling at the same time: Marco Rubio might be a Liberal ally in the confirmation of Secretary of State nominee Rex Tillerson. I don’t have a single unconflicted feeling about the video below. For starters, who to side with. Yes, Rex Tillerson is such a wildly corrupt, big oil executive with close ties to a war criminal he might as well be a caricature at this point, but on the other hand, Marco Rubio. Also the questioning itself, in most ways, goes against everything I believe in. Rubio is asking for mandated sanctions of countries we believe are responsible for hacking the U.S. without regard to circumstance or context. Tillerson is arguing that each situation would need to be evaluated individually. That should be the reasonable response, yes? But, as Rubio reminds us, what he’s asking is, “Will you encourage the President to sanction countries once we’ve proven they carried out a cyber-attack against us?” Am I wrong that that doesn’t seem like asking too much?

But shit got really real once Rubio asked Tillerson if Putin is a war criminal. (Spoiler: the answer is “oh, most definitely.”) Tillerson sticks to his story that he “needs all the information.” Which is a good and useful outlook until it’s used to avoid making judgments. A person who heard that one woman accused Bill Cosby of rape can argue we should wait for all the information. A person who heard over 60 woman accused Bill Cosby of rape can argue we should wait for all the information only if that person is a flaming asshole who is intentionally misrepresenting the situation to avoid acknowledging the horrible reality of someone they like. There is no additional information we need to learn about Putin and his regime in order to understand that he’s a murderous tyrant with absolutely no qualms about permanently silencing political dissidents. Or as Marco Rubio puts it at 10:35

“None of this is classified, Mr. Tillerson. These people are dead.”

FUCK, Marco. Do not make me think you might be a decent guy after all. I’m having enough trouble with Beck.

And if there’s any question as to how that questioning actually went, this is how TrumpTv framed it.


If that’s not conclusive proof of a Rubio victory, I don’t know what is.