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In The World Of The Trump Administration Blatant Lies, We Are All Jake Tapper

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | June 20, 2017 |

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | June 20, 2017 |

The last few days of the Trump administration have been perhaps the most confusing of his presidency. There was the confusion about when exactly the Panama Canal was built, confusion about why Jared Kushner sounds the way he does, the continued confusion about why any of us even know that he sounds the way he does, because the last time I checked, boning the Favorite First Daughter doesn’t qualify you for the position of Peacemaker for the World, the confusion about the President invoking Executive Privilege and if Jeff Sessions fully understands what that means, the current confusion of a new group of MRA, neo-Nazis assholes who have flocked to the site via their Google alert for “SJW cucks talking about ‘privilege’” (settle down, bros, it’s a different kind of privilege), and most importantly, the confusion about if Trump is personally under investigation and, by extension, the nature of reality itself.

So let me be perfectly clear: Donald Trump is unequivocally not under investigation for obstruction of justice, and when he tweeted that he was under investigation, he was unequivocally correct because he was quoting a fake news story put forth with absolutely no evidence by the Washington Post. Donald Trump’s statement is still factually accurate because he was honestly responding to a flagrantly false news story put forth by the MSM. Meaning that, at this current moment, Trump is definitely not under investigation, but also his prior assertion that he is under investigation is 100-percent fact. Got all that?


Luckily there’s something you can do about all of this horrible confusion. You can call your Senator, and tell them to vote against the AHCA. The phone number for the Capitol switchboard is (202) 224-3121. If you have a Republican Senator, make it clear that a vote in favor of this monstrosity will cost them their job. If you have only Democratic Senators, ask them to, under any means necessary, grind the work in the Senate to a halt until the AHCA gets an open hearing. You can make it clear to both sides that if they aren’t willing to fight for you and your healthcare now, you won’t be willing to vote for them in the next election. Be polite, but be clear. And then remember that Donald Trump is a dotty, old racist whose mental deterioration has ruined his ability to lie to people like he once did. He no longer has the facilities to keep track of and properly cover for his lies, and has never had the self-confidence to acknowledge that he made a mistake. His willingness to deceive the American people should be treated with the importance that it deserves: as an amusing distraction while you wait on hold to reach your Senator’s office.

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