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'Full Frontal' Goes After Catholic Hospitals And Their Nonsense

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | October 25, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | October 25, 2016 |


I sure am glad we don’t have any of that socialized health care here. Otherwise, we might run the risk of not being able to receive basic lifesaving procedures and medicines. Best to let the free market decide who’s most equipped to run our hospitals, because the first thing you want to do in an emergency is research your choices.

But on the real, I don’t understand how this is happening anymore. Like I literally don’t understand the actual policies. Refusing to provide emergency care, include terminating pregnancies which put the life of the mother in danger, is a violation of the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act. A violation which should make Catholic hospitals ineligible to receive tax dollars (oh, yeah, that’s right. Did you mistakenly, like me, believe that the reason the Church gets to decide what happens to my womb is because they’re willing to pay for it? Nope. We’re paying the same amount for Catholic hospitals which are doing as much for charity as other hospitals. Catholic Hospitals: Same great taste, significantly more filling. Filling women with dead fetuses, that is).

So how are Catholic hospitals getting around EMTALA? Fuck if I know. The best I can figure, the EMTALA only requires that hospitals evaluate patients to determine if an emergency is currently happening. If one exists, the hospital must treat the patient. If not, they’re free to send them on their way. So Catholic hospitals can determine, “Sure, your active miscarriage which needs medical attention will kill you eventually, but it’s not killing you at this moment. So roll out.” Like how most doctors will tell you, “Yeah, that gunshot wound needs to be tended to and you might need surgery, but you’re not bleeding out at this very moment. See ya!”

Remember, folks, two weeks until we dump Trump. Then we start in on the hard work.