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Prepare To Have Your T*ts Blown Off With Inspiration By 'Last Week Tonight'

By Emily Cutler | Last Week Tonight | April 13, 2020 |

By Emily Cutler | Last Week Tonight | April 13, 2020 |


First things first, you’re going to want to watch the latest installment of Last Week Tonight from the White Void.

And then, if you’re me, you’re going to want to get the culmination of John’s perfectly righteous rant about the failures of our current socio-political system tattooed on your forearm (after quarantine is over, clearly. But yes, I’ve got designs):

There is no better argument for a permanent welfare state than watching your government desperately trying to build one when it’s already too late.

It’s almost like the government has only itself to blame for eating too much avocado toast and drinking too many lattes or some other hackneyed joke about Millenials ruining things even though Millenials are forty. The real point is, as Oliver states, the measures taken right now are bandaids, and when we get out of this, we’ll need surgery. We’ve been f**ked for longer than we realize, and now we’ll need to unf**k ourselves. It’ll be long and difficult, but it won’t be impossible.

And speaking of f**king ourselves: rat erotica. You might remember that on last week’s Last Week Tonight, John offered $1,000 to the owner of the 1992 masterpiece ‘Stay Up Late’ as well as $20,000 to the painting’s owner’s local food bank. And I don’t want to sound hyperbolic, but what played out is, without question, the greatest story of the past century (suck on that, Parasite).

First, of course, were all of the nonsense emails they received that were neither remarkable nor important enough to make any mention of. They wasted everyone’s time, and you should be ashamed of yourself if you were responsible. But then there were the emails that weren’t it but were something.

The Additional Rat Erotica Painting


Even More Additional Rat Erotica Painting


Just A Full-On Rat Orgy


John Oliver As A Hot Rat Painting


Obligatory Koala Chlamydia Ward Reference


But then we had to move on to the real issue at hand. You knew it was coming to this because there’s no point in revisiting John’s quest for a rat erotica painting unless there had been developments with the rat erotica painting. The question wasn’t if it would happen, but how. And the how is spectacular.


“I believe I have something you’re looking for” gave me actual goosebumps. Because it’s one thing when Oliver and Co. create such a perfectly timed joke for all of the country. It’s another when one random person takes their ali, and oops the shit out of it. Did you see the subject of the email? Because it’s fucking “Proof of Life.” And then they sent this picture.


Why not just say, “Hey, I’ve got that painting you’re looking for”? Why “proof of life”? Why posed with today’s newspaper as if to indicate something bad could happen to it in the future? Because sometimes the world isn’t entirely shit. Because sometimes miracles come true.


As John said, the current crisis isn’t only about making it through. It’s about deciding what kind of country we want to be when it’s over. And, guys? I want to be in a country with magical rat erotica paintings. I really, really do.

Header Image Source: HBO