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The Nightmarish Last 24 Hours of GOP Politics, Summarized

By Dustin Rowles | Horror | January 6, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Horror | January 6, 2017 |

Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate has been enduring an awful illness, which left her sick and in bed, where she’s been in an out of sleep for much of the last 24 hours. When she woke up this morning and started reading the news, all of these things that have been coming at me piecemeal by the hour struck her all at once. It was staggering.

I think she’s probably gone back to sleep, and I don’t blame her. It’s been a rough 24 hours if you’re on the liberal/moderate/reasonable conservative side of the political spectrum.

Let’s run down the horrible lowlights:

1) Paul Ryan said that he would roll defunding Planned Parenthood into the reconciliation bill that will also include repealing Obamacare. That it’s a reconciliation bill means that in the Senate, they need only 50 votes to pass it. Republicans have 52 seats. As Kylie pointed out, defunding both Obamacare and Planned Parenthood would be a double whammy for low-income women and could be seen as an attack on human rights.

2) Donald Trump took to Twitter to trash the ratings of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Celebrity Apprentice, because that’s what Presidents do, I guess.

3) Julian Assange and Wikileaks — YES, THE FUCKERS WHO LEAKED JOHN PODESTA AND THE DNC’S EMAILS — had the audacity to complain about another leak.

Trump is furious, because NBC reported — based on the leak — that Russian officials cheered when Trump won. He wants to investigate, not the Russians, but NBC. He’s calling the focus on the Russian hacks a “witch hunt.” What the hell is he hiding?

4) House Republicans revived the 1870’s Holman Rule, which would allow them to slash the pay of an individual federal worker down to $1, which is as good as firing the federal employee without actually having to fire him or her. The rule could put the nation’s 2.1 million civil servants in danger of losing their jobs over the political whims of the GOP.

5) Congress plans to use authority approved in 2006 under the Bush administration to build that f**king wall, although the taxpayers will have to foot the bill, for now. Trump insists that Mexico will eventually pay for it, but has not in any way demonstrated how that would happen.

6) Meanwhile, while Trump wants to spend upwards of $15 billion on a pointless wall, he attacked “head clown Chuck Schumer” yesterday and suggested he should let Obamacare fail. I mean, sure! Use $15 billion of taxpayer money to build a wall, and just let 20+ million folks on Obamacare go without health insurance. That’s Trump: Looking out for the people.

7) In addition to stripping funding from Planned Parenthood, the House of Representatives has recommended that the National Institutes of Health be required to stop funding fetal tissue research.

8) In an unusual move, Trump has also ordered that all of Obama’s ambassadors resign, effective inauguration day, meaning that many embassies will not have an ambassador for several months, as Trump’s choices await confirmation. Moreover, those ambassadors with families and children who might want to finish the school year are left scrambling to find housing by January 20th.

9) Republicans have introduced a bill to move the embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. Many are suggesting that the move could set off a wave of violence in Israel and would further undermine the Israel-Palestine peace process. The GOP tried to do it in 1995, but were unsuccessful.

10) Former CIA Director James Woolsey — a former Trump advisor and supporter — will not be advising Trump anymore because he “didn’t want to fly under false colors.”

Trump will be meeting with intelligence officers shortly to be debriefed on what they know about the Russian hack. It should be an interesting afternoon.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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