film / tv / substack / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / substack / web / celeb

dougjonespanslabyrinth.jpg

It's the Monday, Non-Political Horror Round Up! Now With More Dr. Satan!

By Jodi Smith | Horror | April 10, 2017 |

By Jodi Smith | Horror | April 10, 2017 |


I haven’t seen The Devil’s Rejects because Rob Zombie movies are terrible. However, I’m a sucker for deleted scenes. Tell me that you could pass up something described as ‘Dr. Satan Attacks’!

Oh, my poor, sweet Rosario Dawson. I didn’t even know you’d worked with Zombie before. Thank Stan Lee you’ve got a solid gig going with the various Marvel Netflix series now.

From one shit horror flick to the next, we move to The Bye Bye Man. I will 100% watch this turd when it hits Netflix, because that’s how I do, but I will always have a love for Doug Jones. He’s an amazing performer and deserves all of the accolades. So here is a behind the scenes featurette that allows you to see the lovely Doug Jones in action.

D’ya like classic horror? How about The Haunting of Hill House? The classic Shirley Jackson novel was a movie in 1963 and then again in 1999 under the title The Haunting. You may remember the 1999 version:

Spoopy. It sounds like the same person that wrote the Monkey Shines poster rhyme was hired for that trailer.

But good news! Mike Flanagan (Ouija: Origin of Evil, Oculus, Hush) is bringing the classic tale to Netflix. Flanagan has an order for 10 episodes, straight to series for the streaming giant. Let’s hope Flanagan can take his movie magic and finally give The Haunting of Hill House the adaptation it deserves.

Finally, in the shittiest horror movie news of all, Sharknado 5 is coming in August of this year. This is long past being funny, but I guess the rating are too much for SyFy to resist.

If you need a reminder about how this has all gone down, the previous installations have seen sharknados take out most of the country. Good news, sharks are like cockroaches and can be sucked up into multiple tornadoes, wreaking havoc across America. They’re so prevalent that they destroyed the Eiffel Tower and most of the countries of the world.

Now, sharknados are on a path to destroy the Earth before the current administration can do it. August 6. DO NOT WATCH IT. Unless they finally let the How Did This Get Made crew write the script. Then? Tune in!