Hi! I’m so glad you had time to meet with me today. As we all know, horror movies are a reflection of the fears and concerns of society in the time in which they were made. I feel like I’ve got some really good, really timely horror ideas that will make millions at the box office.
1. Emails: The Deletion
People hate it when emails get deleted or moved to the wrong place. They want people to pay for it dearly with prison time or worse. So I say we have a group of teenagers that start looking into where their emails are going. When they get too close to the truth, their email accounts start being deleted one at a time and it is a rush against the clock to find out what it was in those emails that caused them to be deleted.
And there’s, like, a monster made out of the 90s representation of the Internet. Or Russell Crowe’s character from Virtuosity. Maybe we can get him involved.
2. A Qualified Woman In Charge
A group of men must find a way to defeat a woman who has decades of experience when it becomes apparent that her leadership will cause them to be slightly less powerful. This could be a sequel to Emails: The Deletion where the men tell everyone the woman is the email-deleting monster and that the emails were totes important.
3. Never Get Sick Again
As the Affordable Care Act is repealed, a family must try their best to avoid falling ill so that they can avoid bankruptcy and homelessness. One by one, an illness that should be inexpensive and easy to treat hits every member of the family, draining their meager finances and savings. It’s a race against the clock and their immune systems before they fall into poverty and certain death.
4. The Purge: Electoral College
It’s The Purge with the twist that a group of people have decided to kill every member of the Electoral College so that popular vote always determines the winner. The scariest part is that the Left and the Right come together on this and murder their way to a different democratic process.
You can contact me via Pajiba with the millions of dollars you want to pay me for these movie ideas. I’ll be waiting to hear from all of the studios.