Can you touch your eye? There are two kinds of people in this world. Those of you who full-bodied cringed at that question, and contact lens users. For us, there’s no issue shoving a finger right up to our eyeballs, and poking around if that sucker shifts. But oh the fresh, stinging hell when a contact lens slips up under your eyelid. It’s thinner than a fairy’s whisper, yet out of place it can bring even the mightiest warrior to their knees, blindingly blinking and prying at the damned thing until released from its cloying, unkind grasp.
Most contact user know this torment. But there’s one whose eye has steadily swallowed lenses for years. Here is her true tale, likely to be optioned for American Horror Story: Eye Scream You Scream, Dear God Why Is This Show Still A Thing.
A British medical journal unfolds this yickening story of an unnamed 67-year-old woman whose right eye contained a treasure trove of forgotten contact lenses. While she was being prepped for cataract surgery, the long-time disposable contact lens user shocked her doctor, who discovered “a bluish foreign body” around the curve of her eyeball. Now I know what you’re thinking, but:
It was 17 contact lenses that had scurried up her eyeball, and then were “bound together by mucus.” The medical team marveled that the patient hadn’t noticed this big, fecund lump of lenses. But they explained she had deep-set eyes and thought the discomfort and dryness she was experience was just part of getting older. They do not explain how she thought 17 contacts just magically disappeared from her eye without her taking them out.
Here’s a diagram detailing where the lenses were discovered:
Now, you might think that’s pretty gross. But wait, there’s more! According to The Guardian, “Ten more (contact lenses) were found under further examination.”
The mystery woman with the apparently cavernous conjuctival pocket is reportedly doing well, telling her doctors her eyes feel better than they have in years. We’re happy for her, but also