Season three of FX’s sexy spy thriller The Americans premieres tonight, and if you’re not planning on watching, I have to ask— WHY THE HELL NOT? If you’ve never seen the show, there is a lot that you’re missing out on. Most notable, perhaps, is the impressive array of disguises. These characters have more wigs than Sydney Bristow and Peggy Carter combined. Here’s a ranking of some of the best, worst, and Clarkiest of the bunch.
Best First Wig: This number from the opening scene of the pilot
Clarkiest Wig: Oh, Clark. Your fake wife DEFINITELY has no idea you wear a toupee.
The Wig Most Likely to Have Been Ripped Off a True Detective Stand-In
The Most Definitely Self-Cut Bangs
The Deschanel-iest Wig
Gingeriest Wig: Matthew Rhys Edition
Gingeriest Wig: Keri Russell
Best Fake Family Resemblance (It’s all in the glasses)
Most Murderous Grandma
Groucho-est Get Up
Just the Absolute Worst Face Merkin
The Best Thing Anyone Has Ever Worn In the History of Everything