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A Preview of Fox's Slightly Less Terrible Fall Line-Up

By Emily Cutler | Guides | September 9, 2015 |

By Emily Cutler | Guides | September 9, 2015 |

This might sound weird, but the most annoying part about Fox’s fall line-up is the website that informed me of what shows they’ll be airing. How is the X-Files reboot a returning show, but the second season of Wayward Pines is still a new show? And why is all of each show’s information available through a PDF? Is anyone planning to print this to carry around with them?

Those few gripes aside, I was actually surprised at the number of shows I watch or might consider watching on Fox. Not a majority of their programming because cable, Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon still exist, but three shows watched (New Girl, Bob’s Burgers, and Brooklyn Nine- Nine for those keeping track) is better than some other networks that will remain unnamed.

What are the actual chances I’ll watch any of the new shows? Probably not great, but let’s look at the odds anyway.


Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Seth McFarland has been funny exactly one time, and I’m crediting that to Mark Wahlberg.

Chance I’ll Watch: 0%

The Frankenstein Code

Sookie’s vampire/ fairy husband from the last season of True Blood plays a man who was murdered as a 75-year-old, and brought back to life as a 30ish version of himself through some unexplained quasi-science. He needs to figure out who killed him and why while still returning to his life-giving tank every 24 hours. And just in case you were worried that the show might take a literal page from its namesake and delve into the ethical and spiritual issues surrounding creating and reanimating life, don’t worry. After the obligatory mention, they don’t seem to address it again.

Chance I’ll Watch: 10%. I’ll watch the first episode so I can find out how they explain the reanimation. Then I’ll probably never think about it again.

Minority Report

I’ve complained before about how I thought a Minority Report reboot would be a terrible idea. So I’m pleasantly surprised at how they’ve resolved the issues from the end of the movie. One of the twins, now free of the Pre- Crime program but still seeing visions, tries to stop the murders he’s seeing without any success. He eventually goes to the police where he teams up with one cop to prevent the murders. But while the plot seems cohesive, the dialogue is laughably on the nose and the acting is stilted at best. Also Wilmer Valderrama is there. Sounds real iffy.

Chance I’ll Watch: 30%


John Stamos is a surprise grandfather. That’s about it. Although it is nice to see Josh Peck working again. Also Paget Brewster is there! That might actually be enough for me.

Chance I’ll Watch: 40%

The Grinder

TV-lawyer Rob Lowe wants to join the family business and become a real lawyer. His real life-lawyer brother Fred Savage hates this. And a bunch of comedians show up in the courtroom. Thank you, Fox, for finally taking my fanfic seriously.

Chance I’ll Watch: 90%

Scream Queens

Absolutely not. Because regardless of how much campy fun the first couple of episodes are going to be, Ryan Murphy’s gonna Ryan Murphy, and the show will turn into a giant mess. Also Kate Hudson’s brother aka The Guy That Cosplayed Marty McFly On Several Episodes Of Dawson’s Creek isn’t old enough to have a college daughter.

Marty cosplay.jpg

Chance I’ll Watch: 0 Lifejackets


A quirky medical examiner/ specialist teams up with a no-nonsense cop? And the cop gives the forensic anthropologist/ writer/ coroner a nickname? This is brand new stuff.

Chance I’ll Watch: Until Morris Chestnut puts his shirt on.


What seemed for a brief second to be a delightful comedy featuring the Devil turns into a quirky demon teams up with a no-nonsense cop. So hard pass.

Chance I’ll Watch: 0%

The Guide To Surviving Life

Because everyone needed some bros after Franklin and Bash was canceled.

Chance I’ll Watch: 0%

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