The internet is mad about Ghostbusters. Shock. Awe. Gasp.
Today it’s because a site I’ve never heard of posted a video pre-emptively refusing to see the new Ghostbusters movie. James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd, decided the world needed to know his reasons for not watching a movie. You don’t need to watch it. I’m watching it for you. You owe me for this.
For starters, he pronounces it “REE-view” and puts the emPHAsis on the wrong sylLABle which is not a great beginning.
“This is the Ghostbusters nobody wanted.” Um. If by “nobody” you mean buttholey internet manbabies, sure. But there’s sure a lot of us who were very excited by this movie being announced. But, I forgot, women don’t count.
“Ghostbusters is something that a lot of us grew up with, and we wanted to see the original cast back together for one last time.” Yes. Yes, James. Agreed. Except a) Bill Murray has been sending fuck you fruit baskets of NO to Dan Aykroyd for years about this very concept, B) Harold Ramis is dead, C) and this is important, a lot of us ARE FUCKING GIRLS WHO WANT TO SEE OTHER GIRLS BUST SOME GHOSTS.
“At least he didn’t live to see this shit.” Oh. No. You. Didn’t. Harold Ramis DOES NOT deserve to have his wishes, hopes, dreams or opinions brought into this.
“It’s one of the most celebrated franchises of all time.” I’m gonna stop you there. It’s one of the most celebrated movies of all time. Let’s all stop pretending anyone but those of us tied to it for pure nostalgia thinks the second one is a genuinely good movie.
He seems very concerned about the name being Ghostbusters rather than a different title entirely. He spends several minutes very upset about the name. He is very upset that this film, that he has not seen yet, has completely disregarded the original films completely with no reference or lore at all. In theory. He has no idea. Because he hasn’t seen it.
I’m done now. He’s a chodeface.
I’ve been so confused by all of this. I mean, what kind of hideous buttbleach would be so infantile and insecure to be outraged by a woman-centric Ghostbusters reboot?
Oh. But of course.
Of course, the Ghostbusters team knows this. And all other womenfolk know this. And now they’re just trolling.
The entire cast of Ghostbusters is here next week and now @HillaryClinton is coming, too! Get your Woman Cards ready.— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) May 17, 2016
Anyway, that’s why the internet is Ghostbutthurtsters today. The above tweet is why they’ll be Ghostbutthurtsters next week.