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robert baratheon dadbod top pic.jpg

Ranking the Dadbods of 'Game of Thrones'

By Rebecca Pahle | Game of Thrones | May 12, 2015 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Game of Thrones | May 12, 2015 |

It started like this*: I have a piece in drafts (technical CMS talk for you non-website types) called “Ranking the Bad Dads of ‘Game of Thrones.’” The other day, Courtney mentioned that she keeps seeing said title as “Ranking the Dad Bods of Game of Thrones,” because, in case you forgot, the dadbod phenomenon broke her.

Readers. I wish I could stop myself from doing what I’m about to do. But I really can’t.


10) Tywin Lannister

tywin lannister dadbod.jpg

Bottom of the list. Look at this. It’s not even a dadbod. Why are you here?


9) The High Sparrow

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More like sadbod, amirite?

8) Sandor Clegane

sandor clegane dadbod.jpg

He’s going to have to eat every fucking chicken in this room, and he doesn’t care if it gives him a little paunch.

7) Drogon

drogon game of thrones dadbod.jpg

OK, but you can’t definitively say the dragon doesn’t have a dadbod.

6) Janos Slynt
janos slynt dadbod.jpg

He was almost in the top five, but I hear he lost a few pounds recently. Hey-oooohhhhhh!

5) Mance Rayder

mance rayder dadbod.jpg

It’s tough to make an assessment re: dadbod status under all that fur, but it’s Ciarán Hinds, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and put him in the top five.

4) Davos Seaworth

davos dadbod.jpeg

So many grizzled white dudes with beards! Davos had seven sons before most of them bit it, so you know the dadbod situation is working for him.

3) Stannis Baratheon

stannis baratheon dadbod.jpg

I’m biased.

2) Robert Baratheon

robert baratheon dadbod.png

It’s the OG season one dadbod, and you’d best not forget it.

1) Ser Pounce

ser pounce.png

In case you were still harboring any doubts about whether this is intended to be a serious ranking of dadbods. This list goes out to my boy Kit Harington, who, as he is dadbodyless, will have to be objectified in another post.

*Explanation provided so no one will think I would seriously put together a dadbods ranking post without some sort of external influence.

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