'Game of Thrones': 20 Alternate Names For Tormund Giantsbane That Capture His Essence Better

By Lord Castleton | Game of Thrones | May 11, 2016 |

By Lord Castleton | Game of Thrones | May 11, 2016 |

It’s not like George R. R. Martin gets everything right. Sure, to you devoted virgins bookreaders, Tormund Giantsbane is a protected name. Right up there with Stannis Le Mannis and Hot Pie.

Fine. If you cool kids don’t want to flex a little, that’s fine. You guys have better things to do anyway, like searching D & D interview clips for audio that proves that Benjen is Coldhands. We get it. Run along and carve R + L = J into the nearest tree while the rest of us dream of a better place. A place where maybe the show Game of Thrones might have chosen a better name for Tormund, based on what we now know about him.

It’s not like canon hasn’t been tweaked before! Show Yara Greyjoy was Asha Greyjoy in the books. Show Talisa Maegyr was a replacement for someone called Jeyne Westerling in the books. Show George R. R. Martin is a living legend who knows all things whereas book George R. R. Martin is an anxiety-riddled procrastination junkie.

See? It happens.

I mean, Tormund, whatever. But Giant’s Bane? He’s the bane of giants? Really? Is there anyone who’s the bane of giants? Wun Wun seems to get annoyed incredibly easily, but would he consider any human his bane? I doubt it.

We can do better. I’m sure of it.

So let’s just take a gander at a few other possible names for Tormund Giantsbane and if you don’t like ours, then by the evermoist sphincter of the Drowned God, submit your own below.