Last night, in a bold departure from both George R.R. Martin’s source material and series precedent, someone displayed their boobs on Game of Thrones. That someone was Daenerys Targaryen, and unlike some of her previous nude scenes, the Mammary of Dragons had a damn good excuse for going topless this time (spoilers, obviously).
In the episode’s final scene, Dany is brought before a council of Khals (a Khouncil?) where she’s given two choices: live among the withered crones of the Dosh Khaleen, or submit to brutal sexual assaults. A real Sophie’s Choice there. Dany, not really feeling either option, proposed a third way: how about I run shit? Instead of taking a woman who commands three dragons seriously, the Khals laughed in the condescending manner of every movie douchebag who’s about to meet a horrible fate, called her the C-word, and threatened her with equine rape.
Dany interpreted this response as an abject rejection of her proposal. So she dumped flaming embers all over the floor burned Vaes Dothrak to the motherfucking ground with her and the khals inside. Women, amirite? So damn sensitive. Incinerating a structure with you inside seems like a terrible strategy unless you happen to have immunity to flames, a trait show-Dany just so happens to possess (book Dany can’t survive infernos, according to GRRM). While the Breaker of Chains may be fireproof, her garments certainly are not. Which is why she emerged from the blaze as naked as the day she was stormborn. Simple, right? HAHAHAHAHAHA DO YOU EVEN INTERNET, BRUH?
There’s a reason I’ve used the character name thus far and not the name of the actress who plays her. Rather than deconstruct the scene’s meaning or debate why Dany is still torching Dothraki huts after six seasons, the Internet chose to focus on a more important question: was that really Emilia Clarke, or did she use a body double?
Countless Don Juans who no doubt have important jobs and vast experience identifying the breasts of inhumanly attractive females took to social media to weigh in on the great question of our time.
Redditors are treating the footage like a modern-day Zapruder film — rack, and to the left — hunting for any hint of CGI
and masturbating. One truly enterprising egg believes Clarke’s neck size proves special effects trickery is afoot.
@jowrotethis Either Emilia's lying or her neck got hella muscular in the time it took her to disrobe.— Corey Maki (@coreymak1383) May 16, 2016
This became such a thing that Clarke had to comment on the record that yes, it was her body on display. Her statement, which is probably the most 2016 thing to happen so far this year, hasn’t stopped conspiracy theorists from proclaiming this a false flag operation.
As always, the best possible response to this entire fiasco comes courtesy of my man Dignam.
Words to live by.