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Starbucks Snickerdoodle Hot Chocolate Is the Reason for the Season

By Jodi Smith | Food Porn | November 22, 2017 |

By Jodi Smith | Food Porn | November 22, 2017 |

No, I do not work for Starbucks or get any kickbacks for reviewing their stuff. I am, however, open to selling out to them for a year of unlimited drinks.

I think they offer the Snickerdoodle Hot Chocolate every holiday season, but I generally get coffee or chai lattes and leave the hot chocolate to my kid. Yesterday I was getting my hair cut and didn’t want to be up all night because caffeine, so I got the hot chocolate. (SPOILER: I still couldn’t sleep because brain angry.)

I took one sip of the rich concoction and —

The Starbucks Snickerdoodle Hot Chocolate is so good it makes me love life again.

It tastes like Henry Cavill stuffing chewy snickerdoodles he made JUST FOR YOU in your mouth while cooing “Don’t worry about gaining weight. I’ll still love you.” Like, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. version of Cavill but with his actual accent.

It tastes like it could warm Tr&mp’s heart hole and make him realize he’s a monster and then do a Grinch 180.

It tastes like a hug from your Grandma feels.

It tastes like when you are craving something specific and then when you actually get it, it fills that hole in your tastebuds and makes you feel completely satisfied.

It tastes like laughing with your best friend feels.

It tastes like riding a unicorn as it farts rainbows all over Westboro Church protestors at ComicCon.

It tastes like Deadpool being redeemed in his own flicks and the resulting ad campaigns.

It tastes like yelling “HAPPY HOLIDAYS” at the top of your lungs to people whining about the death of Christmas while defending a pedophile.

It tastes, like, very, very good and you should try it. But avoid the Toasted White Chocolate Mocha, I’ve been told. It tastes like Bannon’s face looks.