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It's Friday, And I Am Going to Burn This Mother Down

By Rebecca Pahle | Food Porn | October 28, 2016 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Food Porn | October 28, 2016 |

Thin Mints are overrated.

This is going to be a short post, because I don’t even know what I can say to convince people—most of you, I’d gather—so insistent on believing in a blatant falsehood. Thin Mints are fine. They are a perfectly acceptable cookie. They are not great. If I were given my pick of any Girl Scout cookie to eat, Thin Mints would be my second choice, after the shortbread ones.

The shortbread cookies are not the best example of their cookie genre, but neither are Thin Mints. Tell me this: Why, when Mint Oreos exist, would you rather eat a mint cookie that is dry as hell? Like Thin Mints, Mint Oreos combine the delicious flavors of chocolate and mint. Like Thin Mints, they are 300x better frozen. Unlike Thin Mints, they have some damn moisture to them.

Thin Mints are barely a cookie. They’re practically a wafer. And they’re not even the best chocolate-mint wafer, either. Necco—I know, I knowmakes a Thin Mint that is delightful, like a Peppermint Patty, but thinner and less chewy.

And yet we act like Thin Mints are the be-all-end-all of chocolate/mint delivery module? Why? Is it the scarcity? Do the Girl Scouts have powers of hypnosis?

Do I have bad memories of being in the Girl Scouts? Maybe.

Was there a father-daughter camping trip where my troop was forced to cook for our fathers, serve them food, and then do the dishes while they sat around the campfire shooting the shit? Yes.

Was that a part of the mother-daughter camping trip? Guess.

Do my own personal childhood neuroses have anything to do with the fact that Thin Mints are grossly overrated? No. They do not. The entire world is attempting to gaslight me into thinking Thin Mints are better than they are. Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for president, and millions upon millions of people think Thin Mints are more than just OK. The world is a strange place.

Photo via Amy on Flickr.