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You Know What? F*ck That Guy: 'Wonder Woman' Edition

By Dustin Rowles | Film | June 2, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Film | June 2, 2017 |

I don’t think we have done a “f*ck that guy” since Vivian started writing for The Mary Sue full-time, but then again, much of 2017 has been one long post of f*ck that guy” directed at our President. However, today, we have a few people who aren’t in politics that we’d like to ask to go f*ck themselves. So, without further ado, let’s get to f*cking:

— Fuck that guy: David Edelstein (who I admit, I used to dig when he was at Slate) who decided to review Wonder Woman with his penis.

“The only grace note in the generally clunky Wonder Woman is its star, the five-foot-ten-inch Israeli actress and model Gal Gadot, who is somehow the perfect blend of superbabe-in-the-woods innocence and mouthiness … She’s a treat here with her raspy accented voice and driving delivery. (Israeli women are a breed unto themselves, which I say with both admiration and trepidation.) … She looks fabulous in her suffragette outfit with little specs, but it’s not until she strips down to her superheroine bodice and shorts, pulls out her sword, and leaps into the fray, that she comes into her own.”

— How about Jeremy Morgan, a Pistons fan and terrible human being. F*ck that guy in the eardrum, preferably with a steel dildo.

— Look: It’s OK if you don’t like Wonder Woman. Not everyone will! But there’s a way to write about it, and a way not to write about it. Steve Rogers, from The Guardian, doesn’t seem to get it.

Confusingly, Diana later explains that “men are essential for procreation but when it comes to pleasure, unnecessary”

I’m not sure what’s confusing about that? SHE’S SAYING THAT WOMEN CAN GET OFF ALL BY THEMSELVES, STEVE.

I’d like to ask Steve to go f*ck himself, but I’m guessing he doesn’t have a choice in the matter.

— Oh, fuck that gal, in this case, specifically Maureen Callahan at the NYPost, who took issue with Wonder Woman because it wasn’t “American” enough:

This new Wonder Woman, however, has almost nothing to do with America. The film is set during World War I, in London. Steve Trevor, the pilot Wonder Woman rescues and falls for, is American in name only — here, he’s working for British intelligence.

Most tellingly, Wonder Woman’s iconic costume has been leached of all color. The bald eagle on her chest, the white stars on her blue bottom, the red-and-white striped boots — all have disappeared. She’s no longer vibrant and strong; she’s sad, a pacifist whose armor resembles mourning attire.

That is one shitty take, and the fact that she’s a “pacifist” was actually the thing my 9-year-old loved most about Wonder Woman. “It was violent, but it was all about creating peace. That’s what I loved most about it,” the kid said after the movie last night, so go fuck yourself, Maureen Callahan.