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So Did Ben Foster F*ck an Orc, Or Nah?

By Rebecca Pahle | Film | June 13, 2016 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Film | June 13, 2016 |

Warcraft came out this weekend, and (though not everyone agrees), it’s my personal view that it’s an unmitigated hot mess of a film. From a storytelling perspective, it’s just bad—generic characters, unnecessary characters (seriously, you could omit or fold together a good half dozen of them and it would have no impact on the story whatsoever), an incomplete story (don’t build right up to the point where shit’s about to get interesting and then drop off with a “to be continued,” Duncan Jones. Multi-picture sagas are well and good, but finish one damn plot first), pacing WTFery and dangling plot threads out the wazoo.

Speaking of dangling plot threads… Ben Foster totally fucked an orc, right?


Context: Ben Foster plays Medivh, the wizard grand poobah who is so totally evil, so shut the fuck with with this “could Medivh be….. gassssp…. up to something?” shit. Paula Patton is the noble Garona, a half-orc who comes with her orc buddies through a magical portal from the orc world to the human one.



is heavily implied to be Garona’s



Stay with me here. Garona is half-orc, half-human, with a orc mother who was executed by her people for giving birth to Garona, whose name in orcish means “cursed.” The identity of her father would be a complete mystery—and completely irrelevant besides—if it weren’t for a scene about 2/3 of the way through between Medivh and Garona, where the former talks about his lost love. When he was younger, Medivh explained, he travelled far and wide and found “a strong and noble people, among them a female who accepted me for who I was.” When Garona asks him if he left his lady love, he changes the subject—clearly it’s a sore spot. He tells Garona she has to be willing to go “to the ends of the world” (…or into another one?) to find love and then gives her a present of a magical blue flower.

There’s no reason—none—for these two characters to have this scene together if it’s not to hint at some deeper connection between them. They have virtually nothing else to do with one another; this emotionally charged scene represents 95% of their shared screen time. We know Medivh has been to the orc world, because he’s the one who told the orcs how to go from one world to another. To the orcs, he’s known simply as a “demon”; him being Garona’s father would mesh with her pariah status. On the surface, the timing doesn’t work out—Patton is actually five years older than Foster—but another character talks about how Medivh ages all funky. We have no clue how old he is. (Also, in the source material, Garona herself was aged by magic.)

Other people have noticed this. I asked Kristy and Agent X if I was fucking insane at having read “Medivh is Garona’s father” into that one scene, and they saw it, too—which doesn’t mean a ton re: sanity, seeing as we’re the ones behind the Very Serious Discussion posts, but Donna Dickens at HitFix also interpreted Medivh’s monologue as a coded “Garona, I am your father” confession. (It’s a change from the source material, where Garona is half-Draenei and she and Medivh are lovers.) Jones has said that an explanation of Garona’s parentage was in the film originally and will be found in the director’s cut, so it is something that he thought about.

I will bet twenty whole (of TK’s) dollars that Medivh is Garona’s dad. That’s a problem. Not because Medivh dipped his wizardly wick in an orc lady—you do you, man—but because Medivh dies at the end of Warcraft, so it’s unlikely that him being Garona’s father will be relevant in any sequels. It’s not relevant in Warcraft, either. So they’re related. So what? Who cares? It’s absolutely pointless, just another in a long string of plot elements that never gets paid off.