Is it a bad sign if a silly/scary looking movie featuring a lot of people you love doesn’t have a US distribution date yet? Let’s speculate!
Slaughterhouse Rulez — In theaters this Halloween in the UK (no US release confirmed yet)
Simon Pegg teaches at a school with a monster or something? And Nick Frost is there! But honestly, I’m mostly here for Michael Sheen re-using his robes from Twilight. This one comes from Pegg and Frost’s new production shingle, Stolen Picture. (And yes, I know Dustin included this in last week’s PLove, but he’s not the boss of me! Editor’s note: yeah, he kind of is.)
And in other news:
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms Trailer — In theaters November 2
Disney has reached peak “fuck it” with its adaptation of the famed ballet and the source material on which it was based. Come for evil Helen Mirren, stay for a special dance performance by Misty Copeland, and sit through whatever Keira Knightley is doing to her voice (helium maybe?). Props on that No Doubt cover, though! Also, just to continue referencing Twilight: I see you, Renesmee!
The Kindergarten Teacher — Streaming on Netflix October 12
Maggie Gyllenhaal gets super creepy about a gifted young boy who’s a poetry prodigy. Emphasis on “young.” This trailer gave me a pit in my stomach. But also: his poetry is meh. #realtalk
47 Meters Down: The Next Chapter — In theaters Summer 2019
Ya’ll like sharks? This is the sequel to that 2017 shark movie that starred Mandy Moore (Kristy called it “uniquely terrifying” in her review). There’s no casting confirmed yet, so there’s no telling if Moore is returning. But uh, it looks like the sharks are in for another round.
Maniac — Streaming on Netflix September 21
Jonah Hill and Emma Stone are undergoing a super-normal, run-of-the-mill drug trial under Dr. Justin Theroux and his special not-creepy glasses. This is a limited series directed by Cary Fukunaga though, and it looks fucking BEAUTIFUL, so I’ll probably watch it just for the color scheme. Kinda like how I do drugs.
Header Image Source: Sony Pictures UK