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The Strangest Movies Coming In 2017

By Kristy Puchko | Film | January 11, 2017 |

By Kristy Puchko | Film | January 11, 2017 |

The filmscape of 2016 was so littered with garbage movies that many a hot take hit proclaiming the genre dead. But 2017 has arrived with a dangerous vegan, man-eating mermaids, and literal monster trucks to prove those cynical think pieces wrong with a string of movies so wild and weird that we’re drooling in anticipation.

Behold the bonkers bounty of the new year!

Monster Trucks (January 13th)

LITERAL monster trucks. Look around. Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now! THIS IS A REAL MOVIE.

The Lure (February 1st)

Making her directorial debut, Agnieszka Smoczynska unleashes a mermaid tale with a dizzying blend of fucked-up fantasy, musical numbers, sex appeal and body horror. Dive in.

War On Everyone (February 3rd)

A killer comedy that flips the bird to PC culture by declaring—you guessed it—war on everyone. John Michael McDonagh’s latest laffer pulls no punches, unleashing mockery like it does sprays of bullets, and smoothing the rough bits over with the winsome and wild charms of the brilliant (and alluring) comedy team of Alexander Skarsgård and Michael Peña.

The LEGO Batman Movie (February 10th)

It’s the spinoff so silly we didn’t dare dream it was possible. Everything is awesome.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (February 10th)

Proof that sometimes we do get nice things. Well, maybe not “nice.” Sometimes we get face meltingly kickass things.

The Shack (March 3rd)

If someone claims to be God and invites you into their shack, it doesn’t tend to end well. Yet this is not a horror movie.

Raw (March 10th)

Julia Ducournau’s directorial debut collected buzz from Cannes, TIFF and Fantastic Fest. It reportedly caused some viewers to faint with its unique brand of cannibal carnage. Now, it is coming for you.

Free Fire (March 17th)

Last year Ben Wheatley brought us the mayhem and nudity-laced class conflict of High-Rise. This year, he’s pulled together a shootout flick with Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy, Sharlto Copley, and Armie Hammer. Christmas comes early, if Christmas for you means a very violent, very crass, very ’70s crime drama.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (May 12th)

Guy Ritchie made a sword and sorcery movie. It feels so wrong, yet I’m enchanted in spite of myself.

Transformers: The Last Knight (June 23rd)

I’m just going to tell you what my husband said watching this trailer: “I want to see Transformers: About Last Night, which is where Mark Wahlberg wakes up in the bed of a Transformer and is all like, ‘Whut happened!?’” Call us, Hollywood.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (July 21st)

Luc Besson, the visionary behind Leeloo Dallas-Multipass: The Movie The Fifth Element is back with a space epic that’s got us swooning on production design alone. What’s it about? Who cares! LOOK IT LOOK IT!

Blazing Samurai (August 4th)
Also known around these parts as Cat Butt Thong: The Movie.

My Entire High School Sinking into the Sea (September 23rd)

The premise is literal. The voice talent—Jason Schwartzman, Lena Dunham, Reggie Watts, and John Cameron Mitchell—should give you an idea of the tone.

Geostorm (October 20th) (See Also)

Dean Devlin, the writer of Independence Day, Stargate and Universal soldier is making his directorial feature debut with a movie that’s logline has our heads spinning: “As a man heads into space to prevent climate-controlling satellites from creating a storm of epic proportions, his brother discovers a plot to assassinate the president.” There’s no images or trailers, so please accept Olympian champion and emotion inspiration Laurie Hernandez.

Same Kind of Different as Me (October 20th)

How to fix a broken marriage? Get a magic homeless man! No seriously. That is the plot of this movie.

Did we miss your most anticipated bonkers movie of 2017? Share it in comments.

Kristy Puchko is feeling better about 2017 now.

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Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.