Publisher’s Note: The asterisk next to the “All” is meant to limit it to “All of those people who have gone to the movies by themselves,” But “The Moviegoing Situation All of Those Who Regularly Attend Movies By Ourselves, But Never Talk About” was too wordy.
And so, the situation: You buy your movie ticket. You’re in a huge hurry. You run up to the concession stand, and you buy your popcorn and your beverage, and then you realize you have to go to the bathroom. Like, really badly. But you’re alone.
Pop Quiz, hot shot: What do you do with your popcorn and soda?
1) You take it into the theater with you, leave it in your seat, and run back out to the restroom, and just pray that no one comes along and steals and/or spits in your popcorn, knowing that when you return, you may never know if someone manhandles your concessions.
2) Same scenario as above, but you spot someone trustworthy nearby and say, “Hey! Can you watch my popcorn for me while I go to the restroom,” which puts the burden on a stranger to ensure that your popcorn isn’t stolen or spit in, and if it was spit in, would she actually tell you?
3) You hope that there is a table or something outside of the restroom, and you leave it there, hoping again that no one steals or spits in it, or that no one who works in the theater mistakes it for refuse and throws it in the trash bin.
Or 4) You take your soda and your popcorn into the bathroom with you. Maybe you leave it on the sink while you take care of your business, or maybe you hold onto it while you take care of your business, but either way, the food you are about to eat is in a public restroom.
What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?