film / tv / politics / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb

Don't Look Up.png

Netflix's End of Year Tsunami of Mediocrity

By Jen Maravegias | Film | August 24, 2021 |

By Jen Maravegias | Film | August 24, 2021 |

Don't Look Up.png

Remember back in March when Netflix promised it would be releasing at least one new movie every week this year? We were all like, “Ha ha ha yeah right, they’re all gonna be garbage.” We weren’t that far off. Now that we’re getting close to the end of the year (Are we? It’s all downhill after August), Netflix has announced its Fall slate of content via Twitter thread:

There are some interesting possibilities on this list for September. Worth looks like it will be one of those tearjerkers that makes you angry at everything and everyone. While overly formulaic, Kate might be fun even though we’d all probably rather see Mary Elizabeth Winstead reprise her role as Huntress. We’ve already seen the preview of Nightbooks and that looks decent. The Starling sounds sad but it might be funny. Melissa McCarthy and Chris O’Dowd? There have to be laughs in there somewhere, right?

October does not start off as promising. Who asked for the musical about Princess Diana? I’d like to speak to your manager. Do we need this many Princess Diana properties in one year? Leave the poor woman alone. Maybe Antoine Fuqua and Jake Gyllenhall can balance that out with The Guilty. That’s an interesting pair who haven’t worked together since 2015’s Southpaw. We’re also getting Army of Thieves, the prequel to Synder’s Army of the Dead. I’m sure that’s going to be just great and not cause any internet fights whatsoever.

Me, though? I’m holding out for the November 3rd release of The Harder They Fall because COME ON, you’re not going to get a better modern western than that. Tessa Thompson and Ruth Negga have a project together in Passing, out on November 10th. And, of course, Red Notice on November 12th that the stars have all been promoting on social media for a while. Dwayne Johnson, Gal Gadot, and Ryan Reynolds should have me all excited but …. we’ll see. I refuse to get my hopes up because I’m old enough to remember 6 Underground. If you haven’t hit the Lin-Manuel Miranda wall yet, you’ll be excited for tick, tick…BOOM! on November 19th. I’m excited to spend Thanksgiving watching Halle Berry’s directorial debut, Bruised, out on November 24th. I follow her on Instagram and she’s been training hard.

Then we enter prime family viewing season, A Boy Called Christmas, A Castle For Christmas, The Princess Switch 3 (THREE???). Oh, and there’s a new Shaun The Sheep movie in there too with Christmas in the title! Back To The Outback involves “a ragtag group of Australia’s deadliest creatures” escaping a zoo and I don’t think there’s anything funny about that. Australia’s deadliest creatures are really deadly, people.

Back to the Outback.png

I’m sorry, is that a koala? Koalas aren’t deadly! Unless you count all of the chlamydia.

Also in December, we suspect there will be a hard push during awards season for Jane Campion’s The Power of The Dog, which boasts an excellent cast, including Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst, Kodi Smit-McPhee, and Benedict Cumberbatch. Adam McKay’s Christmas Eve offering, Don’t Look Up, stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence. Sandra Bullock, who we haven’t seen since 2018’s Bird Box, is also back in December with The Unforgivable.

The rest of that list? I don’t know. There’s at least one interesting-sounding documentary on there, 14 Peaks: Nothing Impossible (November 29th.) I feel like there are promising sounding foreign films that we’ll have to find out more about. But also, a lot of garbage that sounds like content for content’s sake, which is Netflix’s M.O. these days. Something for everyone, I’m sure. Happy hunting, y’all.

Header Image Source: YouTube