Welp, my streak of horror films that I thought would suck but then did not suck is over. Insidious: Chapter 3 was a big ol’ sack of dull! There were some scary moments, but for the most part my internal dialogue was less “AAAAHHHHHH!!!!” and more “Hey, Dermot Mulroney is in this. I should really catch up on Shameless. Fuck, I still have to do laundry. Would it be weird if I ate cupcakes and chips and salsa for lunch?”
TL;DR—this horror threequel, set several years before the first two Insidious movies and having barely any cast in common (only the paranormal exterminators Elise, Tucker, and Specs are familiar faces), is not worth your time.
But could it have been worth your time?
InSIDious: Chapter 3
Sid is a boy. After the events of Toy Story, he’s vowed vengeance on all of toykind. But after several humiliating failures to enslave the Buzzes and Woodys of the world in a massive chalupa-making factory, he finally admits that if he wants to conquer his demons, he won’t be able to do it alone.
Skipper (voiced by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is a girl. She’s sick and tired of living in the shadow of her older sister, Barbie. There’s only one person she feels has ever understood her… her mysterious pen pal Sid, with whom she communicates by leaving morse code messages recorded on old 45s slipped into the twitching corpse of a genetically mutated frog that’s been in the alley behind the 7-11 since 1981.
She knows they have a connection. She doesn’t know he wants to exterminate her and all her kind. Can these star-crossed lovers overcome all odds and make it work?