Like a herpes flare-up but without the chance of sex ever once entering into the equation, #ReleaseTheSnyderCut shockingly dominated Twitter yesterday in what can only be seen as a cosmic reminder that God has truly forsaken us and social media is the bucket He left in the corner. Granted, Sunday marked the two-year anniversary of Justice League’s release, we’re talking about a critically panned film that toppled the DC Extended Universe after dying at the box office and costing Warner Bros. a butt-ton of money in the process. You might as well be commemorating goddamn Green Lantern. But what separates Justice League from Ryan Reynold’s turd cloud dud — the bad guy was literally a turd cloud, I’m not even joking — is the most annoying thing that can happen to anything ever: Wild-eyed fans armed with dumbass conspiracy theories.
For a quick shorthand, and I acknowledge that I’m painting in overly broad strokes here, Zack Snyder fans are basically the BernBros of the film world. They’re extremely toxic, detached from reality, and they make everyone hate the object of their intense affection. In a nutshell, they firmly believe that a pure, unadulterated “Snyder Cut” of Justice League exists that is somehow an epic, grand-scale magnum opus that builds off the previous honking turd of Batman V Superman. However, it doesn’t help that Snyder himself and stars like Jason Momoa continue to fan the flames on social media that the cut is real even though Warner Bros. insiders have repeatedly shot down its existence. Just as quickly as the Momoa flare-up was reduced to ashes, Ben Affleck and Gal Gadot poured gasoline on the fire by tweeting support of #ReleaseTheSnyderCut during yesterday’s anniversary, and Watchmen showrunner Damon Lindelof chimed in on Instagram with an odd message:
I’m not saying I’ve seen it, but if I HAD, I would unequivocally support the powers that be to #releasethesnydercut.
However, one person was noticeably absent from the fray: Henry Cavill. While the Man of Steel star isn’t on Twitter, my dude is an extremely thirsty Instagram user, which is understandable. If it was impossible for me to take a bad selfie, I’d be mugging for the camera 24/7, too. Seriously, is there one non-beautiful shot of the man on this thing? Sonofabitch. Anyway… Cavill opted not to join the Snyder Cut lovefest, and as of this writing, he’s yet to make a peep about it. It’s not hard to figure out why.
Cavill knows the Snyder Cut is horseshit.
“I don’t know if [a Snyder cut] actually exists so the only way I can look at it is as a business model, and I don’t know what difference it’s going to make,” the actor told Yahoo Movies UK during the press tour for Mission: Impossible - Fallout. “There are stories to be told, which need to be told and adjustments that can be made, but that’s not going to make any difference.
“I think it might be entertaining, for sure, and go, ‘Oh look, now I’ve scratched that itch,’ but it’s not going to change anything that I can think of, it’s not going to make huge amounts of money all of a sudden for a studio.
“They’re not going to release it into cinemas and so they’re not going to suddenly make an extra few hundred million,” Cavill added. “So it would be interesting to see what the difference is, but I’d rather focus on the future rather than what’s been.”
What Cavill understands — and so does Affleck, which makes his tweet extra obnoxious — is that WB isn’t about to dump even more money into a movie that reportedly took a $100 million loss. Even at its most active, #ReleaseTheSnyder was just north of 500,000 tweets yesterday. Making the very generous assumption that each of those represents one unique user who will definitely buy a $10 ticket, that’s only $5 million in box office. The math just isn’t there. Especially when almost every insider account says that Snyder is sitting on very rough footage that would require a significant amount of cash to make it even close to audience-ready. (Sarah Marrs has some excellent reporting on that front, which I highly recommend.) That said, there is a burgeoning theory that an unpolished Snyder cut could be dumped onto HBO Max to appease diehard fans, but WB sources are already telling THR that people probably shouldn’t hold their breath.
On top of knowing that releasing the Snyder cut makes no goddamn sense, Cavill might not be thrilled to relive an experience that basically cost him the role of Superman. Here’s the thing: Cavill is a nerd. An unbelievably gorgeous nerd with a butt-chin you can set your watch to, but a nerd nonetheless. Just like with The Witcher, he did his homework for Superman and was referencing deep cuts like Brian Azarrello’s run in interviews. My point is Cavill knows that Snyder’s take on the character wasn’t the best, and he even tried to pitch a more “heroic and optimistic” sequel to Man of Steel with Christopher McQuarrie attached to write and direct. After the success of Mission: Impossible - Fallout, that seems like an easy slam dunk, so naturally, Warner Bros. passed and eventually flushed Cavill’s Superman down the drain alongside Ben Affleck’s Batman. I don’t know about you, but that would make me a tad reluctant to endorse Zack Snyder’s film-making genius.
Of course, there’s one final factor, and the more I think about it, it’s obviously the key to the mystery of Cavill’s silence: 19-year-olds don’t care about the Snyder Cut. Remember when Henry Cavill dated a 19-year-old? I remember when Henry Cavill dated a 19-year-old. In fact, here she is at the premiere of Batman V Superman with his mom, and if anyone has a recording of that conversation, I have cash and my DMs are open.
I might be a hermit who hasn’t spoken to a 19-year-old since I managed an Applebee’s four centuries ago, but I’m pretty sure if you ask one if they want to “release the Snyder cut,” they’ll scream and pepper spray you in the face. As anyone should. In fact, let’s make a commitment to start doing that today. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Header Image Source: Getty