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Johnny Depp Getty Images 1.jpg

Hey, Want to Buy New Movies From Certified Creeps Johnny Depp and Mel Gibson?

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Film | May 14, 2019 |

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Film | May 14, 2019 |

Johnny Depp Getty Images 1.jpg

Hey, remember when Mel Gibson threatened the mother of one of his children by saying, ‘I’ll put you in the f***ing rose garden’, allegedly broke her teeth, then said she looked ‘like a f***ing b**** on heat and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers it will be your fault’? Remember how that was all caught on tape?

Anyway, Mel Gibson’s making a new movie. With Shia Laboeuf. According to Variety, director Jon S. Baird (Filth, Stan & Ollie) will helm Rothchild, a ‘satirical and thrilling ride’ about a man cast out of his mega rich family who plans to get his revenge, including on the head of the Rothchilds, played by Gibson.

So we’re all just pretending that this isn’t supposed to invoke the Rothschild name? Or that the Rothschilds have been subjected to literally decades of anti-Semitic conspiracies related to their wealth and stature? And how f*cking awful it is to have Mel ‘I once called Winona Ryder an oven dodger’ Gibson in such a story? Hey, remember when he said ‘The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world’? I mean, we literally just had this conversation when he got cast as f*cking SANTA CLAUS! Seth Rogen warned us!

So I’m sure you’re wondering what company would want to get into the Gibson business? Well, that honour falls to HanWay films, who are currently shopping the title at Cannes. Another one they’re hoping to get distribution for is Minamata, a biopic of the celebrated war photographer W. Eugene Smith. This is a really fascinating story because Smith covered the front lines of World War II in Japan, was seriously injured at the Battle of Okinawa, and his work covering the village of Minamata, where residents were poisoned by mercury caused by a nearby factory, helped to expose one of the biggest health scandals in Japan. See, this could be a striking story, so who did they get to play the lead of f*cking hell they got Johnny Depp.

OK, let’s just put aside for the moment that Johnny Depp is a total sh*t and we know what he’s done. Let’s just look at this from a creative and business point-of-view. Depp hasn’t been acclaimed as an actor in years. Most critics have noted that he stopped caring about a decade ago and mostly seems reliant on bad make-up, big wigs, and an endless sea of hats. He’s also become a box office liability. Remember how much money The Lone Ranger lost? And that the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie saw a massive drop in grosses? As did Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald? Also hey, did you know that his last movie was a DIRECTV exclusive? And that one of his films was pulled from the schedule (the one where he allegedly punched a crew member on set?)

Imagine being so dedicated to saving the careers of sh*tty men that you’d be willing to lose money. That’s commitment.

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Kayleigh is a features writer for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter or listen to her podcast, The Hollywood Read.

Header Image Source: Getty Images.