Robert Downey Jr. — sporting longer hair, but sans his Tony Stark goatee — is… auditioning talking animals in a newly released promo video for Dolittle. One by one, the animals recite famous lines from movies like Scarface and Jurassic Park, all in an attempt to be… cast in Dolittle? Maybe. All the while, Dr. John Dolittle, veterinarian extraordinaire, sits in his chair to offer some notes here, a head turn there. Sometimes, he even emotes using his eyebrows!

The video was surely meant to be cute. Aww, look at the sweet polar bear who’s reciting lines from Meet the Parents or the ostrich who goes all Notting Hill while “standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.” Or the tiger who puts on its best dinosaur act to roar in hopes to land a part in Jurassic Park.

“Put me in the movie or it’s Downey for dessert,” says the tiger. Honestly, it’s the only thing in this strange and exhausting video that brings joy. It bears repeating, but this movie STILL looks awful (and let’s not get into the production issues or that this is RDJ’s passion project because that is a whole other can of worms). But, hey, if the tiger spends the whole movie threatening to eat Dr. Dolittle, maybe we’d get some decent gifs to use.

The film also stars Michael Sheen, Rami Malek, Kumail Nanjiani, Emma Thompson, Jessie Buckley as Britain’s queen (why is there a queen in this movie?), Octavia Spencer, Antonio Banderas, and John Cena. An all-star cast for a… film that exists.

You can watch RDJ audition all the animals in the video below.

Dolittle will be in theaters January 17, 2020.

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Mae covers movies and TV. You can follow her on Twitter.

Header Image Source: Universal Pictures