Ben Affleck’s time as Batman did not go well.
There are very good arguments to be made that he wasn’t the problem, and it shouldn’t be held against him that he was trapped in a dour, edgelord funeral trying to pass itself off as a shared universe. But at some point, he presumably read the script for Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice and went, “Oh yeah, suah, I’ll stab fackin’ Superman in da fackin’ head den cry about my mawm.”
Thankfully, all of that’s over now that we know Matt Reeves is recasting Batman as the DCEU reboots itself. However, way better writers than myself have noticed that, even with The Batman news, Warner Bros. has oddly shied away from officially declaring that Affleck is out. There is still some weird posturing going on, but Affleck seemingly put all of that to bed last night when he showed up on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and retired his Batsuit.
Affleck also offered up an explanation for why he’s out, but he said it in a fast, “Oh shit, I hope they buy this,” sort of way that raises all kinds of questions about what the hell really went on behind the scenes.
Via AV Club:
“I tried to direct a version of it and worked with a really good screenwriter but just couldn’t come up with a version,” Affleck said. “I couldn’t crack it and so I thought it’s time for someone else to take a shot at it. They got some really good people so I’m excited.”
So here’s my stupid nerd theory: The Flash movie is dead. How did I get that from a Jimmy Kimmel sketch? Two reasons:
1. I have way too much time on my hands. It’s not healthy.
2. Up until December of last year, the standalone Flash film — which has had no less than 800 writers and directors leave the project — was set to be based on Flashpoint, a DC Comics event where The Flash majorly buttholes reality by going back in time and stopping his mom’s murder. Without making your eyes cross by getting into The New 52, choosing this storyline for The Flash movie was a pretty big indicator that Warner Bros. was going to reboot all of the damage that they had stupidly let Zack Snyder cause.
Except now the DCEU is already being rebooted and without burning an entire movie to do it. There’s no need to make Flashpoint, which means there’s no need to keep Affleck around so his Batman can get erased from reality on screen. Which in my dork-ass opinion, is the smart move. Also, Marvel is about to go apeshit with the time travel shenanigans in Avengers: Endgame, so it’d probably be best for the DCEU to miss that iceberg altogether.
And now for my total lack of impulse control.
“Vapin’? — *cough cough* — What makes you think I was fackin’ vaping? This is the gawddamn Fahx. Only a fackin’ idiot would fackin’ vape in heah.”
*Hoobastank starts playing in the background*
“Well, fack, looks like the fackin’ Jokah escaped again. That’s, uh, definitely what that is. Gawta run!”
Header Image Source: Warner Bros.