A Study in Shirtless Holiday Cheer: Netflix’s 'Hot Frosty' vs. 'The Merry Gentlemen'

When Christopher Booker suggested that there are only seven basic stories to tell, he could not have foreseen the popularity of Hallmark Channel’s Christmas romances. I don’t think anyone did, to be honest. But they’re so popular that they’ve escaped the confines of The Hallmark Channel and have started popping up on Netflix. Two new movies on Netflix this holiday season, Hot Frosty and The Merry Gentlemen, push the established boundaries into more titillating territory.

Holiday movies and rom-coms are not my preferred genres, but I could not deny that Hot Frosty was, indeed, hot. And so many people love these kinds of movies that there must be something to them. So I decided to investigate …for science. The science of shirtless men and Christmas cheer. Are they directly proportional? Is there a specific ratio of shirtlessness to holiday props and set dressing that optimizes cheer? Does there need to be jokes and dancing, or will one or the other do? If the movie is self-aware does that make it better, or worse?

These were the questions I asked myself this weekend as I watched both Hot Frosty and The Merry Gentlemen. After my investigation, I concluded that the number of shirtless men and the ratio of them to holiday props was less important than whether or not the movie was self-aware.

The Merry Gentlemen is the Temu Magic Mike of the year, but takes itself too seriously. Chad Michael Murray (One Tree Hill) and Britt Robertson (Girlboss) want to make sure you know they are real actors who can act. In The Merry Gentlemen, they are trying to create a believable romance out of a meager script written by Jeffrey Schenck. According to IMDB, Schenck has been churning out an average of six holiday-related movie scripts a year since 2005. It’s quantity over quality. The story of The Merry Gentlemen is rushed and unoriginal to the point where I knew what the characters were going to say before they did. There’s also an underlying cynicism to the movie that made it difficult to sit back and enjoy it as a guilty pleasure.

Even the “sexy” performances fell flat. They couldn’t muster (or didn’t care to muster) enough extras to fill the nightclub for the scenes of what were supposed to be sold-out shows. The house lights are up too high, the audience members are far too well-behaved, and there wasn’t a single gay man in any of the show’s audiences. Unbelievable! And honestly, Chad Michael Murray is just not that sexy in an oversized cummerbund and bowler.

It was disappointing, and I mostly felt bad for Michael Gross, Beth Broderick, and Maxwell Caufield, who should all sit down and have some serious conversations with their agents in the new year. Someone get them a new Tremors script. Put Colt Prattes in it, too. Save them from the inevitable Merry Gentlemen sequel.

The creators of Hot Frosty had a much better handle on what they were creating. It’s dumb, but it’s funny. It’s sweet and a little sexy, and everyone in it knew exactly what movie they were making.

Lacey Chabert is a veteran of Hollywood comedies (Mean Girls, Not Another Teen Movie) as well as Hallmark movies. She’s the perfect lead for Hot Frosty. And Dustin Milligan (the titular Hot Frosty) is just objectively hot. We’ve known this since Schitt’s Creek when he was Alexis Rose’s love interest, Doctor Ted. He plays well-meaning and earnest with just the right sprinkle of dumb. A soupçon of stupid, if you will. In Hot Frosty, he’s a big-eyed puppy with a six-pack.

Not that you need a reminder, but here’s one anyway. When does Pajiba 10 voting start?

Putting Craig Robinson, Joe Lo Truglio, Katy Mixon Greer, and Lauren Holly in the supporting cast did a lot of heavy lifting for Hot Frosty, too. These are character actors who knew exactly what their jobs were here. Support the leads, make the silly script funny, and have a good time.

If you’re looking for a slightly smutty Christmas Hot Frosty is the way to go. It only needs one hot, shirtless guy to do the work of four Merry Gentlemen (and Chad Michael Murray’s hair.)