A Box Office Preview of the Deadest Movie Weekend of the Year

By Dustin Rowles | Film | August 29, 2024 |

By Dustin Rowles | Film | August 29, 2024 |

Good morning, and welcome to what is typically two of the slowest — if not the slowest — news days of the year, barring a late Friday news dump designed to avoid media scrutiny. Summer is ending. Labor Day is nigh. Most people are back from vacation but not yet ready to actually do work. You know what movies are released wide this weekend? No? No one else does, either. There are four wide releases, and not one of them will top $5 million. There will be screenings this weekend around the country that have literally zero people inside of them, so if you’re a teenager looking for a private place to make out, have we got the place for you!

We’ve never really done this before, but what better weekend than the deadest of the year to write a weekend movie preview?

AfrAId — I’m guessing that this one will earn the most out of the four new releases. It might even break $5 million. It’s an AI horror movie (ugh, I know) starring John Cho, Katherine Waterston (Sam’s daughter), and the really cool actress from Shrinking who plays the daughter of Jason Segel’s character, Lukita Maxwell. It’s basically M3GAN, only it’s, like, Alexa or Siri instead of an Android. Looks like a real dud, notwithstanding the presence of Cho.

Reagan — Here’s the funny thing about most hardcore fans of Ronald Reagan in 2024: They’re Democrats now. Except for Dennis Quaid. That probably also says something about either how far to the right the Democrats have drifted or how far to the left that Never Trumperes have. Can you imagine Alex P. Keaton supporting Donald Trump? Anyway, no one really cares about Reagan anymore. Trump killed that, too (not that I’m complaining). Also, this movie looks like it was written by an 8th grader.

1992 — Here, Tyrese Gibson has terrible facial hair, and Ray Liotta tries to pull off a heist on the first night of the Rodney King riots. I’m not sure why this one is not going straight to VOD, but I’m guessing someone thought they could get a few people in theater seats to watch the late great Liotta in what may be his final role, but only becasue the film has been sitting on the self for two years. Also, Snoop Dogg is a producer on this.

City of Dreams — It’s a movie about Mexican kids being sold into slavery starring Jason Patric, from the executive producer of Sound of Freedom, with a pull quote from Tony Robbins. Very hard pass.

And there’s your weekend preview. My advice: If you’re hitting theaters, try and catch Strange Darling, a movie I hadn’t heard of before Jason’s review and now I’m seeing it everywhere and I cannot wait to watch.