Eloquent Eloquence: Neologism Cotillion Edition

By Mrs. Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | February 1, 2013 |

By Mrs. Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | February 1, 2013 |

Eloquent Eloquence, Neologism Cotillion Edition, is a compilation of the best comments of the week. Comments in non-Dustin reviews are ineligible for the list, comments nominated for inclusion will almost certainly be incorporated, although you never read this part, so I can say anything I want, can’t I?

There is a link in the commenter’s name that will take you to the original post.

Just to confirm: This is Pajiba and this is an extended argument about the “word” irregardless.

• The Everyone from the Bikini Shop Into the Hot Tub! Comment of the Week goes to Tracer Bullet who misses the 1980s a lot:

I remember when a movie this terrible would at least provide copious amounts of nudity as a reward for sitting through all the abysmal “comedy.”

• The If You Know There’s a Card You Already Have Your Definitive Answer Comment of the Week goes to Malechai because that 5th and 6th word combination was worth the price of admission:

Not to be a thunderous geek, but don’t Vulcans age differently from humans, eg. much longer lifespan? Therefore it’s entirely possible for them to have mothers/fathers who look similarly aged? I guess if I were truly a card-carrying geek I would know the answer to this definitively.

• The Let’s Make this Happen Comment of the Week goes to Tasha Rothwell. I’ve set up an account at www.donorschoose.org:

I see I’ll have to get out the tripod again and film myself kissing myself in the bathroom mirror again. Hopefully YouTube will leave it up this time..

• The Succinct and Evocative Comment of the Week goes to Pepper whose soul should probably have a white board by now:

Ugh. She is like nails on the chalkboard of my soul.

• The Obscurity Is Actually What Came for Him Comment of the Week goes to Erin S. Settle down, it’s not like he’s Parker Stevenson:

First came for our E! Channel
and I didn’t speak because I didn’t watch E!
Then they came for our NBA players
and I didn’t speak because I was not an NBA fan.
Then they came for our rap artists, and I didn’t speak because I did not listen to rap.
Then they came for Jonathan Taylor Thomas
and IT’S ON BECAUSE YOU DON’T MESS WITH JTT BITCHES. THIS IS WAR.

• The I’d Like to Nominate This Comment for the Passive/Aggressive Edition of EE Comment of the Week goes to RonDobbs. Well done, if that’s the kind of thing you want to be honored for:

Yeah, sneezing on people isn’t cool. Getting drunk and belligerent is even less cool. Also, using a film review site as your own personal TMZ to shit on people you don’t like or kick someone who is already down is the antithesis of cool. Very brave! Can’t wait until Daniel Tosh tells another tasteless joke or someone briefly mentions Mel Gibson. Thanks for keeping it relevant! (Also, I love you and visit your site several times a day!)

• The That’s Seems an Excessive Preventative Measure on the Off Chance of a Freak Accident Comment of the Week goes to Mrcreosote:

Of course they leave out the takes where the can rolls into the industrial mower and shards of aluminium shrapnel take out half of the happy park-going public. That’s why men should have a protective layer of fat around their abdomen. THAT’S WHY OKAY!

• The NO CONTEXT WILL BE PROVIDED Comment of the Week goes to ViciousTrollop for being funny both with, and without, context:

It’s not squirrels, it’s extremely good-looking people. Get up there! Love is stronger than gravity!

• The With Some Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti Comment of the Week goes to CosmoNewanda who I believe to be a lovely person and I sincerely apologise for anything I may have done to offend him/her:

I’m going to donate my body parts, wrapped in newspaper, to the doorsteps of people I don’t like. I have a list of names already prepared including the body parts they should receive.

• The Comment of the Week Comment of the Week goes to JJ. Your prize is the defilement of your childhood icons. I require a G.I. Joe, two Furbies, and a rubber koala:

Pooh’s food obsession and health issues, Tigger’s addiction to crank, Eeyore cutting his own stitches just to feel something, Rabbit’s fits of rage and resultant dead hookers buried under his garden? This stuff rights itself.