Eloquent Eloquence: In Pajibaville They Say, That the Ladies' Ovaries Grew Threw Sizes That Day

By Prolixity Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | October 28, 2011 |

By Prolixity Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | October 28, 2011 |

Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the ten best comments of the week. Comments in film reviews are not eligible for inclusion.

10. This article isn’t trying to blame “Man Up” for Stuart Walker’s murder — Rowles states that explicitly. It is a cultural observation and one that is not often given enough screen time: though it would be far too simplistic to blame complex behavioral patterns on a given TV show, movie, song, etc., this type of show is both of a product of and a reinforcement for the sort of ubiquitous discourse on masculinity that leads people to commit crimes of this nature.

No one is claiming this show will result in a hate crime, but the point is that it is both lazy and negligent to pander to a those who cling to a paradigm of heteronormativity.

In my understanding, this piece does not condemn the show as the worst offender of its type, but as one of many poorly conceived bits of pop culture that point to a more insidious problem. It is not a call to arms, simply a call to reflect. — Colin

9. “…whoever writes that website is jerking Cruise’s junk a little too much there.”

Yeah, that’s a regular Reacher-around, amirite?

*Starts tap dancing off stage - falls into orchestra pit*— Groundloop

8. Congratulations.

That was going to be my entire post but I almost just typed ‘Ender’, so if you see me just repeating my own name like a confused zombie on a thread, it’s because my brain hates me and is trying to sabotage me every time I stop concentrating for even a second. — Ender

7. At first, it was a cinch. Then the modern day kicked in and I was done for. Done for. It is safe to say I will be rolling my eyes for the rest of the day. Signing my kids into the dentist. Stopping by Sonic. Making Parmesan chicken. All with only the whites showing. —Agogagogo

6. Don’t anyone dare play music while I’m dying. Have a little respect. Pfft

I mean, what if I have something profound to say and you can’t hear me over Morrissey bleating in the background? — Pfft

5. Fuck you, New York Times, you don’t know shit. Take those high heels and jam them sideways. The second you find me sporting high heels is the second I am faaaaarrrrr too drunk to know what’s going on and you’ve convinced me that teetering around in a pair of Mahnolo Blahniks is a new type of trippy roller coaster and no one is around to tell me different. — Kballs

4. Is there any way we can blame this on Disney?

How many trainwrecks has Disney spawned now? Are there enough for a “Girls of Disney” spread, at least? Not that that would ever see the light of day, it’s just fun to think about. — Slash

3. What an intergalactically skewed and discriminatory list. We should learn to embrace non-humanoid alien sexiness, because if the aliens do show up one day, the odds are that they aren’t going to look much like us.

Can I get some sexiness appreciation for Kang, Kodos, and ALF? — DarthCorleone

2. There should be a Hendricks Law in the vein of Godwin’s Law, that any mention of Christina Hendricks on the internet will inevitably lead to someone calling her a fat chick or finding the need to criticize her figure. Yeah BIG TITS NEED SUPPORT. We know. She only has a few years to make the most of her assets before they head for the basement, so I say GO FOR IT, sister! — Lindsey with an ‘e’


1. And what happened then,

Well in Pajibaville the say,

That the ladies’ ovaries grew THREE sizes that day. (*SPROING!)

And then,

The true meaning of ovulation came through,
and the ladies bits all released,
ten ova…PLUS TWO!

Ladies…you know where to find us. We’ll be waiting. — bleujayone