Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the best comments of the week. Comments in reviews and on the caption contest are not eligible for inclusion.
There is a link in the commenter’s name that will take you to the original post.
• The And I Still Don’t Understand Twelve Monkeys Comment of the Week goes to L.O.V.E. who should stop bogarting the bong:
(Takes a bong rip)
(Takes another bong rip)
But what if Bruce Willis is me, living my life as a future me, but only after coming back from the future to kill me? No, no. Wait. What if I came back from the future to kill Bruce?
(Takes another bong rip)
So is that (takes another bong rip) murder? Or, like, suicide?
Ahhh shit. I just blew my mind.
• The Please Submit All Pajiba Dictionary Suggestions to Dustin in Writing Comment of the Week goes to mograph who seems to have pried the bong from L.O.V.E.’s grasp:
Is the past participle of “to freak” irregular? “Would have froken the fuck right out,” maybe? Hmm.
• The Kim Kardashian Is Real? Comment of the Week goes to Kala for providing necessary clarification:
Oh, heavens no. That’s like the Chupacabra with false eyelashes.
• The “Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity” Comment of the Week goes to Erich as this week’s representative of the Logic Police:
i don’t understand - did every engineer suddenly die when the power was lost? Did they have the part of their brains that contains the knowledge of water and wind turbines get wiped out? Every solar panel in the world shattered simultaneously? Steam power? Coal power? Gun powder? A whole hell of a lot happened before there was a power grid and/or batteries.
To believe all that knowledge disappeared along with the loss of all current electricity requires a suspension of disbelief like has never been seen before.
• The Godtopus Keeps His on Betamax and That’s Why He’ll Never Be a Top Five Deity Comment of the Week goes to Groundloop:
The Village Voice is a great clearing house for information about the COS, but I would like to clarify one thing.
My Sky-Daddy doesn’t watch me masturbate from far away. He prefers that I send a few sessions on holographic memory cubes, after the addition of music and some tasteful transitions of course. It’s all about production values folks.
• The E-Meters Are for Lovers Comment of the Week goes to Long_Pig_Tailor who has a surprising grasp of Scientology, if not spambots:
cougarsterc0m is a dating club where you can find your sugar mommy or handsome boy!
I won’t date anybody with an OT lower than 5. Can you guarantee me that?
• The Use Your Jersey Shore Jokes While You Can Comment of the Week goes to Ben who wasted no time in doing so:
Then I would kill myself by trying to eat one of my own socks.
• The Comment of the Week Comment of the Week goes to idleprimate because brevity is the soul of wit:
Hawkeye, The Musical: Quiver