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Eloquent Eloquence: Ambiguous Sexual Elegance Edition

By Mrs. Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | October 19, 2012 |

By Mrs. Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | October 19, 2012 |

Eloquent Eloquence, ambiguous sexual elegance edition, is a compilation of the best comments of the week. Comments in reviews and on the caption contest are not eligible for inclusion.

There is a link in the commenter’s name that will take you to the original post.

The This Time It’s Funny Comment of the Week goes to greg . Baby steps, people, baby steps:

for every part of you that is douchebag I have an equal amount of go fuck yourself

The But It’s Not Always About the Funny Comment of the Week goes to Dragonchild who was eloquent, succinct, and pithy:

In a nutshell, and just like all things TV, I get the feeling they’re trying to capture the attraction and intrigue without even a passing interest in the passion that drives the man. You don’t make 13,000 pages of drawings and notes unless you have an insatiable thirst for discovery.

The “DNA” of the show focuses on what we DON’T know he did?? It’s like a little kid thinking he can improve a cake by replacing all the actual cake with icing, not understanding why one gives meaning to the other.

The We Trust the Question Is Rhetorical Comment of the Week goes to L.O.V.E.. I hear that every night when the moon is full, L.O.V.E. turns into a wolf. Well, him and 20 million other guys:

And why is that douche running around in the snow with just a T-shirt on when he can just turn himself into a wolf and run on all fours with a full coat?


The Things I Do for Love Comment of the Week goes to Groundloop because something, something, Game of Thrones, incest, pasta:

True enough. That Kingslaying SOB is nothing but layers. Layers of id, ego and narcissism that keep repeating like a sociopathic lasagna.

The Ah, Youth Comment of the Week goes to Demps351. Let one who has never been uncool cast the first stone:

West Hartford, CT - Circa 1992…

I walk in to the living room wearing a backwards baseball cap.

Dad says, “You know, only two kinds of people wear their hats backwards.”

I reply (barely), “Huh?”

Dad continues, “Catchers and assholes…where’s your mit?”

I leave the room and continue to wear a backwards baseball cap for the next 5 years.

Cut to today.

Now I understand.


The Also Check Her for Ticks Comment of the Week goes to e jerry powell who had excellent advice for the pompous male slut adjacent:

If John Mayer was even looking at her with any degree of consciousness, she needs a pregnancy test. And quite possibly a rabies vaccination.


The Maybe That Was the Call He Didn’t Want to Take Comment of the Week goes to Kobie. You realise this means Hulk Hogan is going to sue you now, right?

My favorite part of the sex tape was about halfway through when Ric Flair jumped in and smacked the Hulkster in the back with a metal folding chair.

The Now You’re Talkin’! Comment of the Week goes to Salad_Is_Murder who has bright future in cancelled TV programs:

Why not just combine the two shows? Parks & Rock: a new dramedy where Sally Parks (played by Tina Fey), a clown college dropout and psychic teams up Patrica Rock (Poehler) a crime scene investigator slash detective slash criminal profiler to find the secrets of the human condition and the lost gold of Mount Montebruja.


The Featuring the Ghost of Mao Zedong as Gollum Comment of the Week goes to Wembley. This socio-political stuff is way more literal than I thought it was:

So, basically .Middle Earth is where China is headed. Sweet!

The Shire is Taiwan
Minas Tirith is Hong Kong
Ringwraiths are internal security agents (Guoanbu)
Eye of Sauron is the computer security system (run by Google) that hunts down dissidents.

Does that make Jackie Chan Merry or Pippin?

The Comment of the Week Comment of the Week goes to Long_Pig_Tailor Okay, so what were you doing? You were chasing this day. Now, it’s chasing you.

Pitch time: MEMEmento, the story of a man with no pop cultural awareness after head trauma who attempts to keep his formerly popular blogtwitter-y empire afloat by tattooing memes on himself in a desperate attempt to remember them, and also as a ploy for hits. Co-starring some cats.


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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.