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The Cop Out Losers Runaway

By Genevieve Burgess | DVD Releases | July 20, 2010 |

By Genevieve Burgess | DVD Releases | July 20, 2010 |

Cop Out: “If there’s one thing that Cop Out has in common with other Kevin Smith movies, it’s that it’s not about the plot. It’s about the exchanges, here between Willis and Morgan’s characters. Unfortunately, the chemistry is flat, and the humor is non-existent. It’s a series of the sort of jokes you’d expect to hear in a Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movie — dick and fart jokes without an ounce of subtext to them. At one point, Tracy Morgan goes on a four-minute ad-libbed diatribe about his bowel movements, which ranks as one of the most painful scenes I’ve ever had to suffer through.” — Dustin Rowles

The Runaways: “About as rock and roll as those late-night infomercials pitching metal compilations featuring Winger and Queensryche, The Runaways offers little insight into the influential all-girl rock band, but rather an excuse for the leads to try to shimmy off their Twilight bonds. It comes off as a Teen Titans version of a VH1 Behind the Music — little girls in Halloween costume wigs trying to pull off rock moves in their mother’s makeup mirror. As much as I respect the attempted anti-message of Twilight, any vestiges of grrl power are going to be drowned out by the sounds of perverts fapping under balcony trenchcoats. Running around in your panties, smoking and drugging, and playing at lipstick lesbianism doesn’t make you rock n’ roll, it makes you a half-assed version of Girl, Interrupted. Music-video director Floria Sigismondi takes Cherie Currie’s memoir Neon Angel and turns it into an episode of TRL — about five minutes of music wrapped around a massive amount of empty sentiment. Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart are decent enough, but totally overshadowed by Michael Shannon’s rip-roaring Kim Fowley — which is the only reason to see this movie. At least the little girls who sneak into this won’t be walking out mooning over greasy-haired dirtballs and believing their ambition in life is to get impregnated in high school by their one true love. They will, however, be coke-addicted starletards passing out in front of Rock Band IV in bikini-cuts. Win-win?” — Brian Prisco

The Losers: “First, the problems. [sigh]. The fact that the problems could have been fairly easily fixed is the most frustrating part of the whole thing. There’s not much in the way of the eye roll plot problems that would render the entire movie moot. More just the sort of lazy film making that itches at the part of your brain that insists on thinking. For example, twice the team’s plan revolves around them smashing through a fence in a vehicle, which absorbs all manner of gun fire just in time for them to hop out and shoot everything within half a mile with Olympian level marksmanship, while suddenly their enemies who just pinpoint struck every inch of the vehicle cannot manage to get a bullet within ten feet of the five guys standing next to the vehicle. The second time it happened, as approximately seven thousand rounds of automatic weapons fire struck the vehicle, I thought, ah, the van’s empty and now they’re going to jump out from elsewhere. Nope. Same thing. Michael Weston would have had a way better plan than that.” — Steven Lloyd Wilson

Also released this week: 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams, A Town Called Panic, Mother, The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers