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You Say You Want Diamonds on a Ring of Gold: What Would You Like Santa to Drop Down Your Chimney?

By Cindy Davis | Comment Diversions | November 27, 2011 |

By Cindy Davis | Comment Diversions | November 27, 2011 |

Okay people, Thanksgiving is over; it’s time to kick this holiday thing into high gear. As you can probably tell by your television, the extra traffic jams and a strong desire to kill yourself, it is never too early to start celebrating Christmas…Hanukkah…Kwanzaa…Festivus…whatthefuckever holiday makes you put up twinkly lights and eat unidentifiable peppermint flavored objects. Let the wild rumpus begin! We did some outdoor decorating yesterday, even though most years we usually wait so long that we end up saying, “Screw it” and not putting out anything at all. Either peer pressure or subliminal brainwashing has gotten to me and I’m jazzed to get things over with going, so let’s put our own little Santa lists out to the universe and see what happens. Santa reads Pajiba, right?

I see that a lot of people are dazzled by the latest electronics and gadgets, with the Kindle Fire being at the top of a lot of lists (alongside the iPhone 4S).

Is this what you really want?


Or is it something intangible like A Better Year Than Last Year or For Us All To Get Along?

How about a cure for that dickheaded asshole, cancer and some kind of health care coverage so Aunt Josephine can actually get it?

A giant tin of carmel corn? A job, a car, a new sex toy? Speaking of which…

Here’s what I want:


How about you?

Cindy Davis is in her bunk right now, waiting for “Santa.”

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