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What Are the Rules of Life You Wish Everyone Else Knew?

By Lord Castleton | Comment Diversions | July 24, 2015 |

By Lord Castleton | Comment Diversions | July 24, 2015 |

Much of my daily stress comes at the hands of other people. Sometimes it’s something seemingly innocuous like someone riding up too close to me in a line. Much of the time it’s the pervasive rudeness on roadways and how much it makes me loathe people. Like when there’s a long line to exit the highway and some dildo in a BMW drives right into the white paint and cuts everyone off? There are more and more of those assholes. And why? Where does that come from? And why don’t people have the same rules of decency?

Here’s my starter list:

— Never stand in the middle of any aisle where other people are trying to move around/past you.

— People exiting an elevator/subway/train have the right of way over people entering an elevator/subway/train.

— Never be so close that you touch the person in front of you in line: ever.

— Never be the loudest person in the room.

— If you’re not ready, let someone else go.

— Control your children.

— Cover your mouth when you yawn.

— Be quiet when people are sleeping.

— When two lanes of cars need to merge, you take turns, my lane, your lane, my lane, your lane, etc.

— If you make a mistake like missing a turn while driving, don’t make everyone else pay for it by slamming on your brakes/causing traffic. Own your errors.

— Wave thank you to drivers who let you in or out.

— Park between the lines. If you mess up, get back in your car and fix it.

— Don’t drive slow in the left lane (in America). If people are passing you, even if you think you’re going “fast enough,” get out of the passing lane.

What have I forgotten? What rules of life do you wish everyone else knew? What are the rules of the road? What should every single parent teach their kids?

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Lord Castleton is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.