The Most Boring Film You've Ever Seen
With our triumphant return to weekly afternoon comment diversions, the first question I want to ask is this: What’s the most boring movie you’ve ever seen. Not worst. Even boring movies can be good (see Lost in Translation). I’m talking about movies where you find yourself trying to will yourself into waiting at least five minutes before checking your watch again. Glacially paced movies where nothing happens. Plot-less character studies or movies heavy on atmospherics and light on action and dialogue. KnowwhatI’msaying?
I know it’ll sound like I’m beating a dead horse with my choice, but God’s honest: The Lord of the Rings trilogy (take your pick) were the longest, most tedious, dullest movies I’ve ever experienced. They filled me with anxiousness; with dread; with unbelievable antsiness. They make me so restless that, were I to be wearing a trench coat, my fidgets could be mistaken for something that could get me arrested in public. I can withstand a lot of bad, but the LoTR are the rare movie that actually make me want to cry.
How about you, folks? The most boring film you’ve ever seen?