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The Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled Was Convincing the World He Didn't Exist

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | October 30, 2010 |

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | October 30, 2010 |

Gotta had it to Ol’ Scratch, that’s a pretty good trick, all right. And having been one-upped pretty much since the Creation, we lesser devils have had to content ourselves with mere pranks ever since.

Here’s the greatest one this devil ever pulled:

Well before I met the outstanding example of feminine wiles and pulchritude who would become Mrs. Tater, I had a ring from a broken engagement, sitting in a dresser drawer.

This was during my horndog dating phase. And one of the horns I was dogging was a girl who went to a college in central Pennsylvania. She shared an apartment with three other girls I had met. I lived a couple hours away.

One weekend about a month into the relationship, I had the datee to my place for an overnight stay, and in the course of talking about the things people talk about, I revealed this previous engagement to the datee and mentioned I had this ring. I was describing it (the stone had an unusual shape), and in a “what the hell” moment got it out to show her. She slipped it on her finger and it was a perfect fit.

A nefarious plot began to unspool in my mind.

“Wouldn’t it be funny …” I said to her, and she agreed it would, so we did.

When I returned her to her apartment that Sunday, she had the ring on. A couple of her roomies are there, and they don’t notice anything until the datee goes to (nervously, apparently) light a cigarette and one roomie says, “Look how her hands are shaking,” and the other says, “Hell yeah, look at her finger.”

And there was, as they say, much rejoicing. And some mild questioning.

But you two have only known each other for, what, a month?

“We just decided we were meant for each other” is always a plausible explanation.

So the rejoicing went on for maybe an hour and wedding plans were being formalized and guest lists drawn up and presents bought and the cake and the dress ordered when it began to dawn on the datee and I that we hadn’t really planned how long we were going to let this charade play out, or how to end it. So we sneaked a few moments in a bedroom to discuss it and …

The datee picked up the phone and pantomimed making a call to a friend of hers, ostensibly to reveal the good news but in fact to announce loudly, “You’ll never believe what my fool roomates fell for.”

This incident ended with us barricaded in a bedroom for a few minutes.

Good times, good times.

On this weekend of tricks (and, if you’re really REALLY good and Tater likes you, treats!), what’s the greatest prank you ever pulled, or had pulled on you?

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.