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The 5 People You'd Still Hate in Heaven

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | April 24, 2010 |

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | April 24, 2010 |

These women wouldn’t be hot if they were dipped in lava from an Icelandic volcano (though I’m willing to see them give it a try):

1. Julia Roberts

2. Sarah Jessica Parker

3. Angelina Jolie

Ummm … mmmm …. damn. I was really hoping to get that list up to five, but maybe I’m just not the hater I like to think I am. Maybe if I think on it a little longer …

(Megan Fox is pretty annoying, but if she were in front of me … hmmmm, I dunno. Take a pass on that one for now. Same with Heigl …)

Anyway, I figured since we do an annual “5 Freebies” diversion here (and I don’t keep it marked on a calendar like I do, say, Talk Like a Pirate Day, but still I sense that it’s getting close to time to do the 2010 list), that haters deserve equal time. And since you have nothing better to do this weekend or you wouldn’t be here, give me the 5 Celebs You Would Never Ever EVER Do Under Any Circumstances Not With a 99 1/2-foot Pole or If He/She Were the Last Man/Woman on Earth.

(All three Kardashians? Takes me over the limit. Kate Gosselin maybe … Heidi Montag? She just seems like an idiot not worthy of my disdain.)

So, whilst I mull this over, I’m hoping to get an epic level of loathing going here and you’re just the people to do it.

Your 5 Neverbies. Get on it.

The Weekly Murdertank 04/24/10 | Box Office Results 4/25/10

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.