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That's the News from Pajiba, Where all the Women are Scathing, The Men are Bitchy, and Most of the Movies Suck

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | February 4, 2010 |

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | February 4, 2010 |

I didn’t specifically plan it this way, but long before I had any idea when the Stupid … sorry, Super Bowl was, I bought tickets for me and Mrs. Tater to hear Garrison Keillor tell stories and sing a few songs in his solo act tomorrow. I don’t actively seek out “Prairie Home Companion” on the radio unless I’m in the car on a trip long enough to catch most of the whole show, which is seldom, so I’m not a fan of the show itself.

I am a fan of that man’s voice, equal parts honey and ham. Lord, that sumbitch can spin a yarn.

So when the opportunity to hear it from the second row, and only have to drive five minutes down our street to do it, presents itself, We. Are. There.

(I don’t suppose he will but I wish the PHC sound effects guy would come along. THAT guy is amazing.)

Anyway, that’s where we’ll be spending tomorrow afternoon. And we’ll probably go out for a drink after that, if we can find someplace that (hah!) doesn’t have a TV cranked up to full volume with broadcasters shouting at us.

Everyone else in America will be watching endless pregame shows and postgame shows and halftime shows and clever.stupid commercials and … was that a run off-tackle? What’s THAT doing mucking up the festivities?

The two of us? Could not possibly give less of a shit.

Did I say “Everyone else”? Could it be … there are there MORE than two of us? I have a sneaking suspicion the Pajiba community harbors more than a few heretics, others of us who loathe American football and the noise noise noise NOISE it generates. (Actually, that’s not quite accurate. I’m OK with football. It’s a fine game, involving both brute strength and speed and awesome timing. What I really hate are football fans. And football players. And football coaches. And football broadcasters. And all the chest-thumping, loud-mouthing, Armageddoning and posturing that accompany it. But football? Football’s a fine game.)

Anyway … what are your anti-Super Bowl plans? Seems like a really good day to go to the movies, to me.

TATER BARLEY BANKS is not to be trusted. He probably makes up everything he writes about himself, especially the stuff about living in West Virginia. Don’t be fooled. In truth, he lives in Pajibaland, where he speaks gibberish as , (TCFKAB), spends his time sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent, and is developing a 25-letter alphabet, now that his key doesn’t work. He has no blog, no Facebook page and no MySpace page, so don’t try to find him. If you’re so inclined, you can email Tater.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.