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Sk8er Boi

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | May 22, 2010 |

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | May 22, 2010 |

Mrs. Tater and I were in Cincinnati last weekend, getting a nephew confirmed.

He’s a typical-looking freshman, slim and shaggy, and not bad looking if I’m any judge, and one of the relatively rare people in either side of our family who has any actual athletic skills. He plays baseball, football, and soccer, and runs cross country and track (with the high school varsity, which I guess is unusual for a freshman), doing the distances (800, 1600, 3200).

(His dad, naturally, gives him fairly unrelenting shit about typical dad/teen boy usless, pointless, stupid stuff, like mowing the lawn and doing his homework, and who cares about any of that?)

But what he does for fun, it appears, is roller skate, for hours and hours on Fridays and Saturdays and one other day. And not just round and round. I mean competition-type stuff (who knew roller skaters had competitions?). He’s good enough that the rink lets him and other guys on the competition team in a half hour early to practice with no one else around.

The kid said competitions take two forms. One is a sort of breakdancing on skates, and he has a strength and flexibility contortionists would kill for and I never have even in my sex dreams.

The other is skate dancing. And yes, by dancing I mean dancing. Fred Astaire-type real actual dancing. With other guys.

I will pause here a moment for the Pajibettes to “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” and the Pajibs to think the three-letter G word.

Yeah, I admit I thought that word myself. I thought:

“Gee, I wonder what athletic skills my fellow Pajibans have? Barring that, what sports or games they like to play? Barring that, what hobbies they have, other than, of course, going to movies and reading books?” The more offbeat (like roller dancing), the better.

Like this: I loves me some craft beer. I’ll try most anything, as long as I haven’t tried it before. That’s sort of a hobby. But how to remember what I’ve tried and what I haven’t? I do it by peeling the labels off the bottles and keeping them in an album. (Some of them are album worthy little works of art, I might add.)

Yes: I have a beer label collection.

Top that.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.